


That's Love

by dreamydami



Category: 2Yoo - Fandom, Dami - Fandom, Dreamcatcher - Fandom, Kim Yoohyeon - Fandom, Lee Yoobin - Fandom, Yoobin, Yoohyeon - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-12-26 15:39:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18285254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamydami/pseuds/dreamydami
Summary: Hello! It's my first time writing fics in 5 years so please be patient in my gradual progress until I get back to my groove :) PS: It starts getting better in chapter 3!! HahahahYou can find me on Twitter - @crajee4jenyer. Let me know what you think!





	1. Pre-Debut

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's my first time writing fics in 5 years so please be patient in my gradual progress until I get back to my groove :) PS: It starts getting better in chapter 3!! Hahahah
> 
> You can find me on Twitter - @crajee4jenyer. Let me know what you think!

**KIM YOOHYEON**

That’s it? We just break up? After everything?

We met in 2012 and since then we’ve been the best of friends. I've always known that I don't care about one's gender when I start getting attracted but I also have a rule to not shit where I eat. Unfortunately, I just had to fall for that cutie that I work with… What are the odds?

You can say that I'm practically crazy and smitten for her. The wrinkle her face makes when she's trying to scrunch it makes me swoon and… she really just sweeps me off my feet.

We had a lot of hard times together. She had strict parents who wouldn't even allow her to sleep over at someone else's house and I was always missing my family when we first started to live in the dorm. We had to rely on each other to get over feeling homesick. She was my confidante and I was hers.  

**LEE YOOBIN (DAMI)**

She was, and is, the love of my life.

I used to sleep on this bed of mine with her in it. My hand would run from her thighs to her hips, and our hands meet as she cups mine, clutching to it. I would hug her from behind like that -- I'm the big spoon, she the small spoon. She even tells me that sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and finds my hand on her belly. She loves it and kisses me while I'm asleep. Our members were happy and supportive of us and nothing in the world mattered more to me than her.

 

* * *

 

 

There are people who come into your life to stay and be part of it; there are those who leave you broken, in pieces, never to be put back again.

“Hello. I’m Kim Yoohyeon.”  
“Oh hello! I’m Lee Yoobin.”

It’s their first encounter. They talk about their birthdays, how they’re chingus, their families, their schools.

“So I heard you did Run Devil Run as audition piece? You must dance sick!”  
“Well, thank you. I really am a fan of So Nyuh Shi Dae. I love Taeyeon hehe.”  
“Oh! Sounds cool! Where are you from?”  
“I’m from Seoul. You?”  
“Oh I’m from Incheon!”  
“Oh wowwww~ Hey, do you have KaTalk? Can I have your number? I’ve been wanting to gain friends, so I kind of collect numbers.”  
“Oh, sure!”

As they talk and meet other members Kim Minji (JiU), Lee Siyon, and Kim Bora (SuA), they instantly feel at ease with each other. The age is indeed a factor, as well as the fact that Dami (Yoobin) takes good care of Yoohyeon. In fact, Dami threw her a birthday party the same day as hers. What Dami didn’t know is that Yoohyeon planned the same thing. Only the unnies knew about it and they all found it cute. They joke around that it's “Destiny~” for both of them.

They go to school and go home together, just like sisters. One afternoon in the dorm, after Yoohyeon and Dami got home from school, the unnies came up with a brilliant idea.

JiU: Hey, Yoohyeon, Yoobin, you don’t have any school works right?  
SuA: Yaaa even if you do, take a rest!!! It’s Friday!  
Siyeon: Yeah, just come with us.

Siyeon suddenly hugged SuA from the back and everyone was shocked. “Yaaa!” screamed by the surprised SuA. “Next time tell me when you’re about to hug me!” Yoohyeon and Dami were caught giggling while JiU was just shaking her head with a smile on her face. “Anyway! We’re thinking of having a soju night. Since you kids are not allowed to have some yet, maybe grape wine will do!” Yoohyeon, being Yoohyeon, “No one will be here to reprimand us! Why not let us try it, unnie?” SuA and Siyeon laugh, saying how they’re proud of Yoohyeon and how she's really their dongsaeng. They keep saying, ‘We’ve taught her well,’ while giggling and giving high fives all around.

JiU gave out grocery shopping assignments in two's - SuA and Siyeon together and Yoobin and Yoohyeon the other pair.

“Do you like cooking, unnie?” Siyeon asks SuA while she's driving.  
“Yes I do! I'll be cooking tonight's meal! Minji will just clean up ㅋㅋㅋ”

The two at the back were looking happily at their unnies while thinking to themselves, “Wow. I'm so lucky to be with these unnies.” Yoohyeon then slowly turns her head to Dami’s side and catches her looking at her. They both give off a smile and giggle a little.

“Unnie, I caught Yoobin staring at me!!!” Yoohyeon said to SuA, in a playful manner.  
“Aaaahh Yoobin-ah!!! Are you mesmerized by Yoohyeon's beauty?”  
Dami hesitates, pauses, but proceeds to answer, “Well aren't all the unnies beautiful!”  
The frustrated SuA and Yoohyeon pucker up and roll their eyes because of Dami’s safe answer. Siyeon looked at the rear view mirror and found Dami blushing while looking at the car window. She smiles, too, holds SuA's hands, and returns her eyes to the road.

The girls are finally done doing grocery shopping and are now headed back to the dorms. Siyeon and SuA just finished arguing who will be driving. They settled on “who always finishes last” (whatever that means) and so Siyeon is still at the wheel.

“I'm so excited to try soju!!!” Exclaims Yoohyeon.  
“Don't drink at the same time as Minji okay? She drinks too well. Just pretend to drink while you're raising the shot glass,” and SuA goes on on how she never loses against JiU when in fact JiU is a better drinker than her.  
“Ya Yoohyeon-ah, this is your idea. I'm not gonna be drinking any soju. I asked Siyeon unnie to get me grape juice instead,” Dami says.

They get off the car and each of them were carrying a bag of groceries when Yoohyeon suddenly faints. All three throw their bags on the floor to check on Yoohyeon. She re-gains consciousness so she was rushed up to the dorms. Dami was so worried she even forgot to pick up her bag of groceries (but SuA went back for it, don't worry).

A surprised JiU opens the door for Siyeon and Dami who were carrying Yoohyeon in their arms.

“Unnie let's put her on my bed!” Since Yoobin has the biggest bed, he offers it for Yoohyeon. JiU rushed to get water for Yoohyeon.

“Ya--what happened to you?” Worried JiU asks Yoohyeon, her brows meeting each other while staring at Yoohyeon’s face.  
“Ah.. Unnie… I forgot to eat the lunch you made for me. I was cramming homeworks because we finished late practicing yesterday.”  
“What! Are you crazy? How could you not eat?!” An angry Dami exclaims.  
“Ah, don’t be too mad. I really had to finish my homeworks. The school says my dad is monitoring my grades, so I can’t get low grades. You know how much I adore my father,” says Yoohyeon, looking deeply into Dami’s eyes. Dami was about to say something again to scold Yoohyeon but she couldn’t find her words as Yoohyeon stares into her eyes. “Her bangs that touch her eyes makes her even cuter,” she thinks to herself. All she could mutter was, “Okay, whatever. Be careful next time.”

Dami had to excuse herself from the bedroom. She was looking around the living room to see if anyone was there. She felt her chest, her heartbeat, how her heart is almost jumping out of it as she uses the wall to support herself from losing ground. Her knees were weak, electricity flowing throughout her body especially in her palms. She felt confused. “What just happened?” she asks herself. The unnies leave the bedroom and JiU finds Dami, her back to the wall.

“What are you doing? Are you okay? You look tired. Aigoo, you kids are over exerting yourselves. Why don’t you lie down beside Yoohyeon, it’s your bed anyway,” says JiU to Dami while pushing her gently to her bedroom.  
“Ya Yoobin-ah, what about your grape juice?” asks Siyeon.  
“Ah! Siyeon-ah! Come here! I need help with this salmon!” says an impatient SuA.  
“Yoobin, don’t mind the unnies. Just have a rest and we will give you food here in the bedroom,” and JiU closes the door.

Dami slowly walks to her bed where Yoohyeon is currently sleeping. She looks at her from head to toe, still dressed in her uniform. She tells herself, “Wow, she’s beautiful. But she should change in comfortable clothes.”

“Ya, Yoohyeon-ah. Don’t you want to change clothes? Those are dirty clothes, you shouldn’t be sleeping in them.”  
“Can you help me take my uniform off? I’m still dizzy.”  
Dami ~~gay~~ panics, thinks to herself, “This should be okay, right? I’m just helping her change into comfortable clothes.”  
“Yoobin-ah, please?”  
“Ahh. Yes. Sorry. I was thinking about….. My grape juice. That’s right. I’m thinking about my grape juice.”  
“Oh! Did you want to drink it here?”  
“Oh, not really. Wait, where are your comfortable clothes? Oh wait, I’ll ask Bora unnie.”  
Dami rushes out of the bedroom, her palms cold as a corpse.  
“BORA UNNIEEEEEEE!”  
The unnies got surprised at how loud Dami was. They’ve never seen her like this.  
SuA responds, “WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD?!”  
Siyeon and JiU cover their ears ~~to protect their eardrums~~ from SuA and look angrily at Dami.  
“Sorry! This kid is too loud. Siyeon-ah, look at the salmon, lower the fire. Wait for me. Don’t do anything.” Siyeon stands up from the couch and does as she is told.

“Sorry, unnie. Just…. Yoohyeon is looking for her comfortable clothes and I was feeling tired. Sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry. I was just joking around.”  
They walk to SuA and Yoohyeon’s room and Dami is laughing at how Yoohyeon just simply covers her messy bed by throwing a comforter over it.  
SuA picks a spaghetti top and a pair of pajamas for Yoohyeon.  
“Okay, give her these. These should be comfortable for her.”

Dami slowly walks to their bedroom and knocks. “Yoohyeon-ah?”  
She finds Yoohyeon at the edge of her bed, about to fall. She runs to her bed and holds Yoohyeon’s arms. “Yoohyeon-ah, Yoohyeon-ah, ya, please move to your right! You will fall!”  
Yoohyeon lets off a grunt and turns. She wakes up a bit and opens her little eyes to ask Dami, “Do you have my clothes?”  
“Y-yeah, they’re here.” Dami lays them on her bed.  
“Okay, thank you.” Yoohyeon gets up and feels a bit nauseous. She lies back down and there was a loud thud from Dami’s bed.  
“Oh? Are you okay? Should I help you?” a worried Dami asks.  
“Yes, please? I can’t lift my arms, even my head. I’m still very dizzy.”

Dami was sitting on Siyeon’s Captain America-filled bed and was holding on to Siyeon’s Captain America pillow. She stands up, drops the pillow, and takes a deep breath. She walks towards Yoohyeon and holds her head first. Using her right hand, she brushes the bangs off her forehead to check her temperature. She slowly moves to touch Yoohyeon’s back head and down to her back. Her left hand is supporting Yoohyeon’s head. She lifts her up slowly and Yoohyeon sluggishly stays up, with the help of Dami. She keeps her arm at Yoohyeon’s back and helps her undo Yoohyeon’s first button.

“Can you do it on your own?” Dami asks Yoohyeon, with slight ~~gay~~ panic.  
“Uh.. Uh… Yes. I’ll do it on my own. Thanks.”  
Dami diverts her eyes to the closet at the back of the room and starts blowing air from her mouth.  
“What are you doing?” asks Yoohyeon. She finds it weird that Dami is looking away.  
“Huh? What do you mean?” Dami is puzzled, “Why is she asking this question? Is it obvious that I’m awkward?” she asks to herself.  
“I mean why are you looking away, it’s not like I’m naked!”  
“Well we all need our privacy, you know.”  
Yoohyeon nods in agreement and starts putting on her top. She removes her skirt as well and changes into pajamas.  
“Okay! I’m done! Thanks for taking care of me. Why aren’t you out with the unnies though?”  
“Ah, well, I was feeling tired a while ago and Minji unnie told me to rest too.”  
“Oh okay! Then you should change clothes too so you could lie here.” Yoohyeon pats the bed twice.  
“Ah, yeah. Okay. Let me change to pajamas.”  
Dami opens the closet and chooses the best-looking indoor clothes. “What the hell, why am I looking for good indoor clothes?” She chooses between blue, purple, and pink jumper.  
“Yoobin-ah, why don’t we drink some of that grape juice?”  
“Hmm, sounds good. Hold on, I’ll just change into indoor clothes,” and changes into the pink jumper. Dami heads out and goes to the unnies who have started drinking.

“Unnie, can I have the grape juice?” Dami asks Siyeon, who is already having shots with JiU.  
“Oh, I’ll give it to you. That woman might already be drunk.” SuA then heads to the refrigerator while Dami is laughing at Siyeon. She was already swinging her head from left to right as she and JiU watch Babymetal PVs.  
“Here you go. How is Yoohyeon?” SuA has finally finished cooking and is now about to sit down on the sofa beside Siyeon.  
“Oh, she’s changed to indoor clothes now. She’s still sleeping.”  
“Okay, you kids should rest. Don’t play around with your phones. If you’re hungry, there’s kimchi rice and buttered salmon here. Just come out.”  
“Thank you unnie.”

Dami gets two wine glasses. She hides one in her right armpit while holding the other one in her right hand. She passes by the living room where the unnies are singing and drinking. “Take care of the glass! Don’t break it!” Dami nods and continues carefully walking. She enters the room and Yoohyeon is now sitting up on her bed, fiddling with her phone.

“Hey, TiTaeSo’s Twinkle is good! I just listened to it.” Yoohyeon says, while hugging Dami’s pillow.  
“Of course… It’s So Nyuh Shi Dae!”  
“Pft. You’re a SONE. What did I expect.”  
“Ha. You should have known better. Here’s the grape juice and the glasses.”  
“Do the unnies know I’m awake?”  
“No, we might get scolded if I tell them we are going to drink.”  
“Yoobin, it’s a fucking grape juice.”  
“Well…. They’d rather that we are sleeping. That’s what I meant.”  
“Well, you’re right.”  
*KaTalk rings*  
Yoohyeon laughs while reading the message from KaTalk. Dami thinks, “Oh, is she seeing someone? How could I not know about this?”

“Yoobin-ah, look at this.” Yoohyeon shows a joke that her father had sent her.  
“Oh, woah, what a relief, it’s just her father.” Dami whispers to herself.  
“Yoobin-ah, what’s your favorite part of your body?”  
“Me? Um, my hands. The agency said my hands are really pretty - they’re like spiders!”  
Yoohyeon grabs Dami’s hands and marvels at them while smiling. Dami is so surprised that her eyes got bigger and she looks back at the closet, shyly.  
“Oh, wow, yeah. Your hands do look beautiful! Wish I could have those hands.”  
“Well, you are really tall and really pretty. So you have that. What about you? What’s your favorite part of your boday?”  
“Oh, I think it’s my eyes. They say that I have really expressive eyes.” Yoohyeon puts her face close to Dami’s and Dami, having amazing reflexes, immediately moves back which makes Yoohyeon let out a frown.  
“Eh? What’s wrong with you?”  
“You were too close.”  
“You don’t like that? We’re the ones of the same age here. We should be close!” Yoohyeon slowly crawls towards Dami but this time, Dami doesn’t lean back. In fact, she even pulls Yoohyeon’s head closer to hers -- their eyes and lips meet, making love with each other. It was a short, sweet kiss… or so did Dami think. She was about to leave the room to get water and food for the both of them when Yoohyeon, using her long reach, holds Dami’s jumper and pulls her closer to her. Their lips touch gently and they kiss. They eat each other's lips as they caress each other's faces. Dami pushes Yoohyeon to the bed and they continue kissing, their hands intertwined, Dami on top of Yoohyeon. Yoohyeon is out of breath but she doesn’t let her go. She lifts Dami's jumper and touches her bare back, caresses it with her fingertips. Dami lets out a soft moan. Yoohyeon pulls her closer as they kiss more torridly, their tongues sliding on each other’s.

Someone knocks.

“Kids? Aren’t you hungry?” JiU’s voice is from outside.  
“Shit!”  
Dami rolls to her right such that it now looks like the two of them were sleeping in. The door opens and they could hear JiU and SuA talking.  
“Oh, they are asleep. But they haven’t even touched the grape juice.” SuA picks up the bottle and hurries out of the room to keep it chilled. JiU covers the two with Dami’s comforter. Under it, Dami feels Yoohyeon’s outline by keeping her close to her. She faces her back and hugs her. She smells her neck and kisses her bare shoulder.

“Are you still asleep?” Yoohyeon asks, after a couple of hours.  
“Well, not really. Um, not at all, actually. I have only slept for 30 minutes.”  
“Oh, Minji unnie is here. But she’s sleeping tightly because they have been drinking.”  
“Haha, I thought she was good at drinking?”  
“Well one can never have too much.”  
“Ah, you’re right. Maybe she’s also here because she’s worried about us. Hey, are you hungry? You can wash up while I heat our food.”  
“Sounds great. Thanks, Yoobin.”

While Yoohyeon was showering, she closes her eyes and all she could think about were Yoobin’s lips that kissed hers, Yoobin’s hands that locked with hers, Yoobin’s body that was on top to hers. Yoobin. Yoobin. Yoobin. That's all that's in her head. “Did we really lock lips? Did I really touch her bare back? Was she really on top of me?” She touches her lips while under the shower, she smiles. She doesn't really understand what happened but what she knows is she wants it to happen again.

Dami knocks.

“Yoohyeon-ah. You've been there for 45 minutes now. Food has gone cold already!”  
“45 minutes??? Since when??? I didn't notice!!!! Hold on! I'm done now!”  
“Okay~~~”

Yoobin steps out of the shower and reaches for her towel. As she was wiping her body, she again remembers her lips locking with Dami's. She finds herself staring into space, smiling, and tries to wake herself up. She smiles and blushes, and quickly cleans up.

Dami was, on the other end of the room, shaking, trembling, burning with blood rushing through her body. She actually kissed Yoohyeon. “I actually tasted her soft lips,” she muttered while she's staring at the revolving plate inside the microwave. Looking at Siyeon and SuA who are curled up together and hugging each other in the sofa, she recalls the moment she pushes Yoohyeon to her bed and starts kissing her. Blood rushes through her body again and she pops her knuckles. Her beautiful hands trying to squish the air, her hands feeling all electric. She smiles shyly and cups her chin while the microwave oven alarm goes off. Yoohyeon steps out of the bathroom.

“Let's eat!” Dami tells Yoohyeon.  
“Thank you,” says Yoohyeon with a big smile.  
They eat together while giggling softly, giving each other knife-like loving stares. They lean towards each other and kiss on the lips, again -- gently, slowly, Yoohyeon letting off a soft moan.

They hear footsteps.

Siyeon appears at the end of the table.


	2. Debut: Spring to Autumn

Lee Yoobin was 12. Having strict parents, she wasn’t allowed to go out that much until she joined the choir in their church. She had to go out to practice with the choir members after school on weekdays and even on weekends. She didn’t miss any practices and she always wanted to be around her choirmates just hanging out, eating, and playing around. Sometimes she tells her parents she’s going out to choir practice but in reality, she’ll just be hanging out with her choir bestfriend. She doesn’t normally do that coming from a strict household, but feeling _freedom_ even temporarily is something she doesn’t dare miss. She felt that this choir bestfriend was her breath of fresh air -- she never felt suffocated around her. She can sit with her legs apart when she’s with her and she already loves her for that. She thinks to herself, “I love my family and they’re my everything but I don’t know why I feel like there are two different Yoobins - one at home and one with her.” She is a smart girl. She already knew she was different.

 

The choir joins a competition and the team gets a podium finish! Yoobin realized that performing onstage using her talents that she can show to everyone is something that she’d want to do for life. As a SONE, she saved up enough money to buy herself the latest SNSD album Run Devil Run, which was released just 10 days after her 13th birthday. She studies the choreography all by herself and naturally, she masters it and starts dreaming about being an idol. She tells her bestfriend about this and they start talking about how beautiful all SNSD members are. She loves how she can just tell her about anything and everything without having to be careful about what she tells her, unlike that one time she told her brother about SNSD’s Yuri being “so sexy” and asking her why she says things like _that_ when she’s a girl.

 

* * *

  


Dami is listening to Wiz Khalifa and tries to do the rap as practice when Siyeon knocks on her practice room door.

 

 

 

> “Yoobin-ah?”
> 
> “Yes? Siyeon unnie?” Siyeon opens the door.
> 
> Siyeon walks towards Dami with a faint smile. “Are you busy? Are you practicing?”
> 
> “I am just listening to some songs, but it’s okay. What’s wrong, unnie?”
> 
> “I’m just sad and I feel sort of impatient. I’ve been here for a couple of years now and they still haven’t said anything about debut. I wish I could just go back to my high school band.”
> 
> “Unnie, don’t say that,” Dami pats Siyeon’s arm and she gives her a warm smile.
> 
> “Aren’t you missing anything in your old life, before all this happened?”
> 
> “I guess I do. I miss my family the most of course, but I actually miss my friends from the choir especially my bestfriend.”
> 
> “Oh, what is your bestfriend like? You haven’t told me about this story.”
> 
> “Well, she… she was a breath of fresh air. I felt very open with her. Like I could talk to her about anything and everything and we would marathon one week's worth of SNSD performances after Inkigayo airing. She made me realize a lot of things, especially the part where I knew I was different.”
> 
> “Ah, that you like girls?”
> 
> “Yes,”
> 
> “Then I guess that’s why you got so attracted with Yoohyeon even at first, I thought she seemed free-spirited whom you could talk to about anything,”
> 
> “Yeah that’s a big part. I don’t know unnie, she just makes me so happy. Even her messy self is her charm, it makes me want to take care of her more,”

Siyeon is pleased. She knows she can only hear Dami speak this much about Yoohyeon when they’re alone together and she really isn’t someone who can express herself well. She’s happy that she’s being a good unnie to her by listening and talking to her this way. Besides, the two asked her to stay quiet (until they’re ready to tell JiU and SuA) so all she really can do is listen to her.

 

A familiar noise interrupts their talking and Dami realized immediately that it’s Yoohyeon.

 

“Thanks, unnie. It’s been a while since we last talked.” Siyeon understood and realized that it’s Yoohyeon next door when she heard a couple of thuds just beside Dami’s practice room. Siyeon grips Dami’s shoulder and smiles at her. “Stay happy,” she tells Dami and sees her way out. As expected, Yoohyeon is waiting at the door.

 

 

 

> “Oh! You’re here!” and they greet each other with loud voices, like usual.
> 
> “Yoobin-ah! Come out! Manager is here to talk to us!”

 

Happyface Entertainment announces that the five of them will all be debuting under the group name MINX on September 18, 2014. Although they feel unsure of the candy, glittery, cutesy concept that was trendy those days, all that matters to them is that they finally get to debut.

 

After the announcement, they trained from 6PM through 1AM with only water breaks in between. They’ve never felt so energized and motivated to work through all their flaws in dancing and singing. They don’t even feel hungry. They just dance and sing endlessly.

 

“Okay, that one run was really good, but we shouldn’t be satisfied because we should always keep improving!” The girls naturally circle around JiU and catch their breaths while she was talking. They do a group hug, say thanks to each member, and shout at the top of their lungs, “WE’RE DEBUTING!!!!” Yoohyeon starts tearing up quietly after shouting and Dami notices the tears trickling down her cheeks. She’s not worried, she knows she’s crying because all their hard work will finally pay off. She puts her warm hands in her back pockets and tip-toe to reach her pointy, bony shoulders. She gets a whiff of Yoohyeon’s scent through her neck and once again she is hypnotized like the first time she was enchanted by it.

 

“I love you.” she lightly tells Yoohyeon, her gentle, low voice reverberates through Yoohyeon's ears and heart.

Yoohyeon turns around and cups Dami’s small face with her hands. Dami cups her face too and wipes her tears with her two thumbs. Yoohyeon pulls Dami close to her and hugs her very tight while whispering, “I love you too,” when the unnies start to run towards them and give them tight hugs as well. JiU and Yoohyeon both start crying while Siyeon and SuA hold back their tears. Dami hugs all of them in whatever way she can and she doesn’t cry; she toughens up for the unnies and taps their backs. She helps them wipe the tears off their faces drenched in tears and gives all of them warm and tight back hugs.

 

They all walk back to the dorms while JiU was still sobbing aloud. Sua and Siyeon both have their arms around JiU’s hips, taking care of their unnie the way she takes care of them. Dami and Yoohyeon were walking hand in hand, with the night light illuminating in their eyes that are filled with happiness and warmth from the emotions that rushed through them. They're happy. They're finally debuting and they have each other. Nothing is wrong in the world.

 

They finally reach the dorms. JiU is glued to the bed after crying buckets, again, while telling her parents over the phone that they’re finally debuting. Siyeon rouses from the bottom bunk and goes to JiU's upper bunk to hug her while letting her cry on her shoulder. “Unnie, you’ll get puffy eyes tomorrow if you don’t stop,” JiU laughs and she immediately wipes the tears from her face. Dami just finished washing up when she sees JiU's eyes filled with tears, “Unnie, I’ll get you water. You should breathe deeply or else you’ll get hiccups.”

 

She steps out of their room and sees Yoohyeon on the sofa with her eyes glued to her phone, “Ya Kim Yoohyeon, wash up already! Bora unnie will get mad at you again for being dirty,” Yoohyeon frowns at her but she looks back at her phone screen. “I’m chatting with my parents. I’m telling them about our debut!” Dami smiles as she pours water into the glass. “You should call your family!” Yoohyeon’s face lights up as if she had found a hidden treasure. “I’m calling them before I sleep. Now go wash up.” Yoohyeon frowns again but this time she stands up and heads to the bathroom. “Message me when you’re done talking to your family!” Dami brings the water to JiU as she promised and steps out of the room again. She calls her family and tells them about her debut. Her mom cries while her father and grandma shout, “We are so proud of you!” and her siblings clap from the other line. She puts her phone down and walks towards the bookshelf to grab her Korean edition of “1Q84” from her favorite author. She turns to books every chance she could finish one and will do anything and everything to read a book by Haruki Murakami. She gets to read a couple of pages when she hears a loud thud from the bathroom. Yoohyeon comes out of the bathroom with comfortable pajamas and a towel wrapped around her head. Bora comes out of their room and goes to the other room while babbling and complaining to Dami about how she had to throw Yoohyeon’s used face mask again. Dami laughs and continues reading her book. She gets to enjoy a couple more pages when Yoohyeon joins her on the couch and rests her head on her shoulder. She doesn’t put down a book for anyone -- but that's Yoohyeon. She folds the upper right part of the page and puts the book down. She taps on her comfortable lap, non-verbally telling Yoohyeon to rest her head on it, and she does. Dami’s long fingers run through Yoohyeon’s bangs and they both smile just enjoying that moment -- that calm, quiet moment they share while all the emotions were running through them. Yoohyeon captures Dami’s hand, grips onto it and kisses it. They look into each other’s eyes and they smile warmly, their lips curved upwards bearing the taste of lovel and happiness.These are the moments that they both cherish the most because in the midst of these quiet moments, a lot of conversations have been made. They don’t just touch each other’s hands, they don’t just look at each other’s eyes -- they converse with their eyes, their touch, and their smiles. They stay like that for a good ten minutes, no words muttered, no noise created, but lots of conversations created.

 

 

 

> “Yoobin-ah, what do you think will happen if we don’t succeed?”
> 
> “We haven’t even started and you’re already thinking about that?”
> 
> “I don’t know, just thinking about the worst so when we fail it won’t be that painful?”
> 
> “That’s not good thinking, Yoohyeon. You should just always do your best.”
> 
> They look at each other straight in the eyes while talking. Dami runs her hands through the corners of Yoohyeon’s face and marvels at it while staring at her pink, supple lips.
> 
> “Don’t worry. As long as we do our best, things will happen.” says Yoobin, while touching Yoohyeon’s nose tip. Yoohyeon grins and teases to bite Dami’s hand.
> 
> “Yoobin-ah, what if we don’t have enough time to talk each other like this once we debut? What if we will spend more of our lives in the practice room? What if you meet someone else?”
> 
> Dami hushes her by laying her index finger on her lips while smiling back at her.
> 
> “I will always be yours. When times get tough, we will find a way.”

Dami’s words always find their way to Yoohyeon’s heart. She always knows what to do and say to calm her down when anxiety strikes her. Just a pinch of, “Don’t worry,” and a dash of, “We will,” and Yoohyeon’s heartbeat find its normal pace again. Dami picks up Yoohyeon’s hand that’s placed on her stomach, kisses the top of it, and holds it to her cheek. “I will always be your Binch, no matter what.” Yoohyeon gets up from Dami’s lap and reaches up and her long limbs made it easy for her to reach Dami’s lips. It was a short, sweet kiss that lingered in their lips the whole night. They both couldn’t sleep so they spend the whole night together doing their own things -- Dami returning to her book and Yoohyeon just watching random videos on YouTube.

 

Dami wakes up in the whee hours of the morning and finds Yoohyeon’s laptop still playing videos while she’s sound asleep beside her. She gets up to put away her laptop and lightly wakes Yoohyeon up.

 

 

> “Yoohyeon-ah, let’s go to my bed.”

 

Dami’s bed has always been their safe haven. Their first kiss, first argument, and confession all happened on it. If only the mattress could talk, the whole world would’ve known how their first fight was about Yoohyeon not drinking the lemon water that Dami made for her and how Yoohyeon asking Dami to look at only her from now on. 

 

The two enter the room and Dami sees SuA being a big spoon to Siyeon on the bottom bunk and a passed out JiU hugging her giant Rilakkuma on the top bunk. Dami guides the half asleep Yoohyeon to her bed and she lets her take the wall side this time. She slides into the snug and warm comforter with Yoohyeon and kisses her on the cheek and whispers, “Close your eyes, I’m just here,” should she get another anxiety attack. Dami hugs her from behind catching a whiff of Yoohyeon and the familiar, warm, sweet scent instantly puts her to sleep. She smells divine and she feels like home. She is home. Yoohyeon is home.

 

* * *

 

 

One year has passed since MINX’s debut and their sales never hit even half of breakeven level. They held their first fan meeting in a small cafe with at most 50 people attending it. JiU was doing her best to lift everyone’s spirits up but when their activities were put to a halt for more than 6 months, everyone felt like they were on thin ice, ready to melt anytime.

 

Dami and Yoohyeon weren’t different. They started to get busy when they were both about to graduate high school alongside their MINX promotion schedules. Dami wasn’t even able to attend Yoohyeon’s graduation day despite promising she will. They haven’t been sleeping on Dami’s bed anymore and haven’t been talking like they used to. They can’t slow down time anymore; they can't make the world revolve around them like before. Cracks may have formed in their beautiful relationship but that doesn’t mean the feelings have changed. Dami still goes crazy for Yoohyeon when she gets a whiff of her and Yoohyeon’s heart still races when Dami laughs her high-pitch laugh. It’s just that, this time, things are different. They can’t be too close to each other and they can’t go out to dinner with hands intler-locked. They now have managers who handle their image as an idol and wouldn’t let them go just anywhere they please. They barely get any sleep with all the practice and covers that they do. Yoohyeon usually doesn’t sleep immediately after washing up so when she tries to sneak into Dami’s bed, she’ll end up waking her, unable to get any shut eye until their next event for the day. She thought it’s been causing Dami problems since she hasn’t been getting enough sleep so she resolved to just sleep on her bunk. The truth is that Dami has been a light sleeper ever since their hiatus -- she couldn't sleep well knowing that all their training years and her dreams might all just go to waste since they still don't know what's going to happen to them. Everyone has been feeling tired and drained - physically and mentally. They feel like their hard work isn't going anywhere and they just feel very helpless. All these just adds to each member's frustration and as of now, there's nothing they can do but just hope for anything good. Anything.

 

One Saturday morning, Yoohyeon sits down on her favorite sofa spot -- where she and Dami usually spend their quiet time and she quickly realizes how badly she misses the person that has been the cause of all her happines through these years. Dami went back to her parents’ home for the weekend and Yoohyeon has been missing her a little too extra lately. She thinks about texting Dami but thinks twice and thrice about it, thinking that it'll just a burden if she does send her a text while she’s with her family. This odd break has taken a toll on Yoohyeon’s anxiety and she feels useless, purposeless, and just a speck of dust in the world. She misses the times where Dami would just whisper words to her ear while giving her a big, tight hug and everything just gets better. Siyeon interrupts her anxious thoughts and appears in front of her.

 

 

 

> “What’s wrong with you?”
> 
> “Well I’m missing her a little too extra today.” says Yoohyeon with a frown.
> 
> “What even is happening? I don’t see you sleeping in our room anymore. Why do you even sleep alone?”
> 
> “I don’t know, unnie. We just don’t have time like before a--”
> 
> “I don’t understand. We all live in the same roof and you have the audacity to say that you do not have time?”
> 
> “Do you think we’re just falling out?”
> 
> “I don’t believe in falling out, sorry. I’ve been with Bora since 2012 and do you see me get sick of her? Well yes but I still love her. And I fight for this every single day. You have to fight for this, Yoohyeon-ah.”
> 
> “I don’t know if I still could. It’s just not the same anymore. I feel more comfortable sleeping on my bed now and I think it’s the same for her.”
> 
> “Don’t let this hiatus get into your heads and hearts. You know it’s different with her.”
> 
>  

Yoohyeon starts crying. A sharp, stabbing pain starts piercing through her heart -- a pain she didn’t know how to handle but knows that only Dami can handle this for her. Siyeon invites Yoohyeon for a hug and she starts weeping loudly. Slowly, loudly, Yoohyeon cries the frustration and loneliness she's bottled up for a year -- she's losing grip on Dami and she hates herself for it. "Why did I let it go this way? We promised each other we'll always be for and with each other. I don't understand, unnie!" Siyeon feels Yoohyeon's pain and gets teary-eyed. JiU and SuA walk in on them and Siyeon gestures for them to walk along and let her handle Yoohyeon. It took Yoohyeon a good ten minutes to calm down while still hugging Siyeon.

 

> “Unnie, I’m sorry, but thank you for being here for me.”
> 
> “What are you saying? Of course!”
> 
>  

JiU and SuA walk over to Yoohyeon, “Yoohyeonnie, all unnies are here for you, for both of you. You didn’t even have to say a word and we already know. We’ve been together for so long and I know you all so well.” JiU tells Yoohyeon while she’s still weeping. SuA sits beside Siyeon and they look at each other with earnest eyes -- that thing old couples do when they see another couple go through pain.

 

“Yoohyeonnie, why don’t you let things flow as they should? If you miss her, keep it to yourself or do something to distract you from the thought.” suggests SuA. Siyeon elbows her and whispers, “I told her to fight for it!!!” SuA smirks and raises her shoulders. “Just giving her options, ultimately she’s free to do whatever she wants to,” SuA whispered back.

 

Two months have passed, they get news that their group will be expanded to seven members and that they are going train with them soon. Yoohyeon has started reading self-help books specifically on managing anxiety and it did help her lose focus on the fact that she misses Dami every single day. Yoohyeon goes out one Saturday night and tells everyone that she’ll be off drinking with her high school friends. Dami, who was so focused on writing, lifts her head up, her face hardens, and her eyes go bigger. Siyeon notices her stern face but Dami lowers her head again and goes back to writing.

 

> Siyeon approaches Dami, “Ya! Did you hear her? She was going to drink with friends.”
> 
> “Yes, she’s a grown woman. She can do that on her own.”
> 
> “Come on Yoobin, I know you’re writing because you’re going through something. You don’t _just write_ , you go through something _and then_ write.”
> 
> “Unnie… please, just stop.”
> 
> SuA holds Siyeon’s arm and makes an X sign with her arm and JiU nods in agreement.
> 
> “Well… okay.”
> 
>  

Dami moves to their room with her notebook and pencil and starts fiddling with her phone Yoohyeon’s voice was just replaying in her head. “I do miss her, damn it," she mutters to herself while looking at the camera roll on her phone. It's all photos of the members and her with Yoohyeon when they were in Paris. She scrolls through that photo of the two of them holding hands in front of Eiffel Tower, taken by JiU. There's too much memories and her emotions start to betray her. She wipes the teardrops that fell down her cheeks and lets off a loud sigh. She sends Yoohyeon a KaTalk message and takes a deep breath.

 

 

> _Hey, where are you?_ _  
> _ _Huh? Why are you asking?_
> 
> _I just wanna know._
> 
> _Because you care about me?_ _  
> _ _I just want you to be safe._
> 
> _Why can’t you say it?_
> 
>  
> 
> _Are you back to your old cat got your tongue self?_
> 
> _Yoohyeon-ah, this is hard for me as well. But can’t we go back to the way things were?_
> 
>  
> 
> _Are you dunk now? Why are you not replying?_

 

Dami has no panic in her vocabulary so she stays cool and checks Yoohyeon’s friends’ profiles. She finds out where they are and tells the unnies that she’ll be picking Yoohyeon up.

 

She finds Yoohyeon, wasted, flirting with a guy.

She burns up inside with anger, betrayal, but also hate for herself for letting this happen. She regrets ever watching this relationship roll of her palms like it meant nothing to her. Her heart starts churning up and it’s a miracle she still has the senses to find a seat near Yoohyeon. She finds Dami looking at her dead straight in the eyes and leaves the guy she was flirting with with a tap on his shoulder.

 

 

> “What are you doing here?”  
>  “You didn’t reply. I was worried.”
> 
> “You still won’t answer why.”
> 
> “Obviously you didn’t read my message.”

 

She pulls the phone from her purse and reads the message.

 

Yoohyeon breathes deeply and she blinks. "Shit, my teeth are itchy," she mutters to herself. She looks at Dami straight into her eyes, bellowing in melancholy and distress. She never wanted to have this talk. She had hoped that things will just flow naturally, like how SuA told her. "Well, I guess it does have to happen at some point," she tells herself.

 

 

 

> “Yoobin-ah, I think we need to talk.”

 


	3. Full Moon, Full Circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline:
> 
> MINX hiatus  
> Pre-DREAMCATCHER  
> DREAMCATCHER 2017  
> DREAMCATCHER 2018

Dami hears those words, loud and clear. The words came into her ears like thorns that had to pass through her left ear to the right and she couldn’t do anything to stop it. She didn’t want to walk towards Yoohyeon, she didn’t want to listen to whatever it is that she has to say, she didn’t want to talk about anything. But ultimately, the cold months that passed by them will eventually lead to this -- and she already knows that. She just didn’t think it would happen right this time when she’s ready to mend broken things. "Timing is a bitch," she says under her breath. Yoohyeon walks towards her and offers her her hand.

“Come on. Let’s go to a cafe.”

Dami takes her hand and she realizes how long it has been since she last held her hand outside of any broadcast activities. Electricity goes through her palm and it continues through her whole body the moment her hand touches Yoohyeon’s. She feels Yoohyeon’s warm hand, probably because of the alcohol buzz, yet she feels the cold. “I’m a fool,” she thinks to herself.

Yoohyeon finds a cafe open until late around Gangnam. It’s also the first cafe where they sneaked out to on that first night in the dorms. Yoohyeon lets go of Dami’s hand to wave it towards the cafe as if presenting it.

“Here we are, Binch!”

Yoohyeon is looking into Dami’s eyes, and Dami feels like she is staring right through her soul. She shakes her head.

“What’s wrong?” Yoohyeon asks with a frown, still looking straight into Dami’s eyes.

“Let’s just go inside.” Dami answers while not letting her eyes turn watery. Besides, she’s not easy to cry. But if it’s something about Yoohyeon, that’s always an exception.

“Sit in our usual spot. I’ll get your drink. It’s the usual right? Decaf Iced Americano?” Yoohyeon asks Dami while looking through the menu.

“Sure,”

Dami comes back to Yoohyeon who’s currently waiting for their drinks.

“Yoohyeon-ah, our old spot is already taken so I’ll just choose that one,” she points to that seat just beside the trash can. "Sorry, I know you don’t like that, but there’s -- “

“Yoobin-ah, don’t worry. Just wait for me there.” Dami smiles at Yoohyeon briefly and walks to the available seat.

Dami opens her KaTalk and sends a message to Siyeon. 

> _Unnie, Yoohyeon and I are in a cafe. Don’t worry about us, we’ll be fine._

Yoohyeon arrives with two drinks on her tray. She puts them down on the table and drops the tray back to the counter. Yoohyeon sits right across Dami, something that has never happened when they go to cafes or almost anywhere. Yoohyeon **_has to_ **be beside Dami, at all costs.

Dami, again, feels the cold breeze when Yoohyeon decides to sit across her. It creeps up to her the way the winter wind blows through her face. And Dami hates the cold, especially this cold air forming between them. She wonders what will happen in the talk while sipping through her iced americano when her KaTalk notifies a message.

> _“Okay! Be safe!”_ SuA replied on behalf of Siyeon because probably she’s already asleep.

 

Yoohyeon’s sight hovered at Dami with the concerned look that says, “Oh, who’s that?” as she has always had for years. And Dami knows that look, she knows she’s curious who had just messaged her at _this_ time of the night. Yoohyeon isn’t the jealous type but she just wants to know who messaged the girl she used to hug and kiss every night for the past two years. Dami feels the air uneasy and she doesn’t like getting Yoohyeon upset.

“I messaged Siyeon unnie in case they look for us. I told them we’re just in a cafe together.”

Yoohyeon smiles through her teeth. Dami isn’t looking at her because she’s looking through her KaTalk and reading unread messages from JiU. Yoohyeon shakes her head a little bit, because she remembers what they’re here to do. Dami was wearing a baseball cap, black tee with red and black flannel on top, black pants, and white sneakers. She couldn’t stop smiling because it’s the look that she loves on her. She loves it on her because she knows how comfortable she is with boyish outfits and she takes credit in dressing her up because despite knowing what she is, Dami was still not sure if she _could_ dress up the way she wants to. Yoohyeon pushed her, helped her shop for clothes, and showed her a couple of Pinterest outfit pegs for her to follow.

She shakes her head lightly again because she seems to be getting lost in these beautiful thoughts of and with Dami.

“Yoobin-ah, how have you been?”

“Huh? Oh.. I’m actually considering going to university if this hiatus continues.”

“Oh yeah, my dad said the same thing but I said I’ll think about it and wait for the company’s plan. I know they have something for us. SuA unnie said she is in talks with the manager and the CEO…”

And they talk about how the whole hiatus is affecting each member and their confidence as a whole. Yoohyeon had to excuse herself to go back to the counter to get something to fill their stomachs. While Yoohyeon is at the counter, Dami checks her messages again and apparently, JiU and SuA are still waiting for them. Dami sent them a quick message saying, “We’re still here,” so that the unnies won’t be worried. Yoohyeon arrives with mini baguettes and says, “Yoobin-ah, look, don’t these look like the baguettes we had in Paris? Only these are small!” Dami smells the pastries, “Wow! They do smell like Paris!”

They exchange glances with the sweet memories of Paris flashing before them. Dami doesn’t want this calm before the storm anymore. She decides to come forward and face whatever it is that Yoohyeon wants to talk about -- even if she knows what it is already.

  
“Yoohyeon-ah, what are we really going to talk about?”

Yoohyeon hunts for her straw and drinks. She feels a lump of solid matter placed just above her stomach; she doesn’t understand what it is.

“Okay. Well. We both know what’s happening. We both know something is up.”

“Yes.”

“Yoobin-ah, I still love you. But I think we’ve been neglecting ourselves because of each other. You know what I mean? Lately I’ve been reading a lot of books. You know I don’t read much before but now it’s a habit I’ve developed because I want to make myself better.”

“Yeah, I get you.”

“Thank you. I’ve been reading a lot of self-help books actually.”  
“Oh, that sounds good.”  
“What about you?”  
“Well, I did pick up a new skill. I have been trying to write lyrics. I didn’t think I could do it but it’s been fruitful.”

“Oh please, I always knew you could do it. You have the talent. Pretty sure one of your songs will be produced in one of our future albums.”

“Thank you, Yoohyeon-ah. I was able to write because of inspiration.”

Yoohyeon blushes. “That’s good. We’ve been in pain, I know. I’m glad we both found outlets on how to let things go.”

“Yeah, but I miss you.”

“Do you think I don’t?”

Yoohyeon blinks, her eyes watery. “Oh no, don’t cry!” Dami hurries to wipe her tears with her thumb.

“Sorry, it’s just hard. But we do need to make better versions of ourselves, no, the best versions. Plus, I want to come out to my family before I start dating again. It will be hard, but with the right person, I will have the strength to do it.”

“I never thought of that. You know how my family is.”

Yoohyeon grips Dami’s hands with her icy fingers, making Dami’s even colder, “I know, Binch. I know.”

There was cold electricity that ran down her spine from her hands. Dami gets awkward and shakes Yoohyeon’s hands away.

 

“Sorry. Yoohyeon-ah, if we’re deciding to end this, for now at least, I think it’s helpful to move on first. From everything.”

“Yes, sorry, you know how I am. And you're right. But I'm gonna miss my bestfriend…”

“I'm always here. We're still best friends. And you can still call me Binch.”

Yoohyeon's face beams with happiness like she's been given a huge amount of money for shopping. She gets up to come close to Dami. She wanted to hug her but she stops herself midway and Dami gestures for her to sit down.

“Man, this is hard,” Yoohyeon mutters through her teeth.

 

Dami sends a KaTalk message to the group message saying, “ _We are going home now! Sleep, unnies! Older people need it_ ㅋㅋㅋ”

As they were walking, Yoohyeon sees their silhouettes on the street coming off the moonlight. She notices how different their silhouettes are now compared to two years ago. They used to be one black figure going through the night with barely any light coming from the moon, using each other to [_light their way_](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2018/01/dreamcatcher-full-moon) going to wherever they need to be. This time they are standing their own grounds, having their own silhouettes. With help from the full moon the night currently has, they now walk through the cold night with two separate silhouettes.

 

* * *

 

Months have passed, the hot air from summer washed away by the cool breeze of autumn air has eventually become the thick, cold, icey, lonely winter. Dami met Lee Gahyeon, a fellow SONE, and tells her about the auditions Happyface Entertainment is currently holding. Gahyeon, being an ex-trainee from FNC Entertainment and someone who passed YG Auditions, decided to give it a try and successfully got in. The other girl, Handong, is a foreigner who seemed cold at first but eventually became close to Dami and Yoohyeon, separately. They spent sleepless nights and moody diet days together as a group just to debut successfully on January 2018 -- and they did. As a rookie group from a small company, they are taking much better interest now as DREAMCATCHER.

 

The two have been continuously improving in their own crafts as they promised each other and themselves. Dami has been going to songwriting lessons and have been working well on developing her rap technique while Yoohyeon has been to a good number of vocal classes while managing her anxiety well. They grow and shine separately as the trees’ barks get thicker and the leaves grow greener while the soil gets more moist and firm. They are apart but never separate, growing together but nourishing themselves separately. As the leaves start to wither and detach themselves from the branch, they start falling to the ground, little by little, until they turn red and brown, never to be attached to the trunk again.

 

There is a schedule for a vlive that afternoon before the Inkigayo live performance. Dami and Yoohyeon are seated beside each other while talking about the fans, Dreamcatcher’s dynamics, and their debut album nonetheless. It was weird, sitting there beside each other again. But they’re civil, they try to act to be. The manager instructs them to be their usual loud and jolly selves but Dami doesn’t really know how that works but she does laugh and look at the camera looking happy anyway. She raises her hand and touches Yoohyeon’s, clipping her arm into hers. “Shit,” she said to herself. All the memories from the cafe break up more than a year ago came rushing back to her, sending her spine to a frizzle of ice and fire and her gut starting to churn inside. She expects Yoohyeon to push her away, but she doesn’t. They stay like that for a good five minutes when Yoohyeon faces Siyeon and holds her hand. Dami notices and she looks at Siyeon, too. The two were giving Siyeon looks of fear and daze, but they remember they’re on vlive so they look back to the camera and continue talking to the fans. Yoohyeon makes the next move by slowly moving her hands to Dami’s blanket, used to cover her skirt, finding her hands and intertwining it with hers. Dami doesn’t even blink, no one gives a jolt but their hearts have already started to run towards their chests. They both play with each other’s hands like there was no pain felt anywhere; they are professionals. They’ve been doing fan service since their MINX days but the only difference is that back then, they were happier together.

 

They were given a short free time for that night since their next live broadcast is next week, and besides they deserve it. Yoohyeon, JiU, and Gahyeon all went to Hongdae to get some good meal while Siyeon and SuA went to Myeongdong because SuA wanted to get a new piercing. Handong stayed home because she was feeling a bit sick and Dami, as always, is accompanied by one of her many books. Handong finds Dami outside their room on the sofa, her eyes walking from left to right through the pages of the book.

 

“Yoobin-ah,” Dami stops reading and looks at Handong.

“Oh, unnie, why are you up? You should rest.”

“I was getting bored since I couldn’t call my family and I wanted to talk and see Nannan but I couldn’t.”

“Okay, come here. I’m getting you water.” Handong smiles, Dami really is so consistent in taking care of everyone.

“Thank you, Yoobin. How are you? You looked tensed earlier in the car on the way back to the dorm.” Dami is speechless as she didn’t know how and what to respond. She felt guilt as she couldn’t tell her the truth but she also felt relieved that there is someone like Handong who she could rely on.

“Oh, nothing unnie. I was just thinking of the things way back in MINX.”

“Are you not happy now?”  
“Of course I am happier now! Dreamcatcher was perfectly made for my facial expressions! How could I not be happy!”

“Then why should you look back on the past?”

Handong’s voice resonated throughout Dami’s head. Past…. She’s a thing of the past yet a split-second moment with Yoohyeon keeps her sprung right back up. The slightest touch, the slightest eye contact, she just gets pulled right back in.

“Unnie, what do you do when you’re stuck up on something?”  
“Are you having a hard time making song lyrics?”

“Ah, yes, yes, that,”

“Then I guess you just have to accept that you’re stuck in that part, take a breather, and let the words flow through you. Sometimes having so many things in your head is detrimental to the outcome of your song. Just let them flow.”

“Ahh, you always know what to say.” Dami hugs her tightly, “Thank you, Dongie unnie.”

Handong is confused. Dami has been practicing songwriting for a good while and she thinks that getting over a writing slump would be something she’d already have a routine for. She hugs her back and pats Dami’s head.

 

Dreamcatcher has had three comebacks for 2017. For Dami and Yoohyeon, having vlives during those comebacks mean they could hold each other’s hands and look into each other’s eyes while talking. Fans loved it. They even started giving out pictures of them with autograph to fans who went to their Fly High fansign events. The vlives are now something the two look forward to without them even knowing. They just enjoy each other’s touches during vlives but go their separate ways after training and recordings.

 

* * *

 

April 22, 2018 was Earth Day and Dreamcatcher decided to grow plants. Dami was so excited because she gets to do something really close to her heart with the members and in front of the fans. All seven were carefully preparing their own plant pots by reusing tin cans, with JiU and SuA decorating theirs with colorful papers and other decorations. Yoohyeon moves to Dami’s seat at the other end of the table and pulls out a chair. They put soil together in the tin cans and help Gahyeon with hers. The camera pans to Dami after Yoohyeon explains what she’s planted for the Earth Day. Dami’s words sound like music to Yoohyeon when she hears how enthusiastic Dami is for the Earth Day. She stares at how her eyes sparkle while talking about her plant and at how her lips are curved upward while explaining what plants can do for the carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere. And Yoohyeon loves that. She loves it when Dami can be her total self without having a worry on what others think of her. Dami has been struggling expressing herself or talking about different things in variety shows or in vlives since she really isn’t the talking type. She’s a good listener though and makes sure to connect to one’s heart, no matter what it takes. Yoohyeon keeps her eyes on the small face with beautiful, big eyes and now realizes she can’t stop staring at Dami. She forgets about the vlive and smiles while looking at her. “Shit.” The camera pans to the unnies fixing their reused plant pots.

They all finish arranging their plants and the camera goes off for the vlive.

 

“Ya Yoohyeon-ah, come with me to the cafe. Bora wants me to get something for her coffee,” SuA looks at Siyeon’s face and gives her a flying kiss. Siyeon smiles and catches her kiss and mouths to eat it. SuA mouths, “I love you,” and Siyeon gives her a kiss from across the room.

“Huh? Now?”

“Yes, let’s go!”

 

Siyeon didn’t order a drink, she just got a revel bar and picked up SuA’s grounded coffee beans.

“Yah, I saw you on the vlive. The way you look at her, it’s back. I see it!”

“What?”

“Yoohyeon-ah, I saw it. The way you looked at Yoobin a while ago! I’ve known you for six years now and we’ve lived under the same roof since.”

“I mean, I was just so happy that she gets to talk about plants and the ozone layer and the earth like that on a vlive.”

“I know you are. But seriously, why don’t you just get back together? Fans are going crazy for your fanservice and I know it’s more than that for you.”

“Unnie… it’s not that simple.”  
“Then simplify it to me.”

“Well, we basically decided to make the best version of ourselves. Then I guess when we’re ready, we could try it again.”

“When do you even know when when you’re at your best version when you try to make yourself better each day? When you say that, it seems like you’re just lazy to work for your relationship. That doesn’t seem like either of you!”

Yoohyeon doesn’t talk. Siyeon’s every word is such a bitter pill, too hard for her to swallow. She shakes her head and starts weeping softly while covering her face. She’s defeated. All that time spent to make herself better wasn’t really to have the best version of herself, it’s for her to stop wishing Dami was beside her to stop her anxiety attacks. She wasn’t taking the vocal lessons just to improve her craft, she was also using it as an avenue to be busy and not see Dami all the time. She knows she was lying to herself all along but she just admitted it upon hearing Siyeon’s words. A stream of painful tears start falling from her lonely eyes and Siyeon starts wiping her tears.

“Okay, stop crying now. We should head back to the dorms.” Siyeon cups her hands and grips them tightly. Yoohyeon puts their hands together and kisses Siyeon’s. “Unnie, thank you.” She couldn’t mouth any words because of the tears but does her best to tell Siyeon how thankful she is.

 

* * *

 

 

Dreamcatcher starts their Latin America Tour on July and they are currently in Santiago, Chile for the second stop. They usually pick out their roommates through rock, paper, scissors (usually either Yoohyeon or Dami gets to pick first, and it will always be Gahyeon for Dami and Handong for Yoohyeon) but this time, their manager has a printed copy of the room arrangements and the two are in the same room. Yoohyeon panics upon seeing the paper and asks their manager, “Oppa, we’re not allowed to choose our own roommates now?” The manager shakes his head and explains that the stylists had a hard time doing their makeups in Argentina so they think it’s better to have an organisation of some sort. Their coach drives to the basement of the hotel and they get on the elevator to go straight to their rooms. Dami is handed the key card, being the more responsible one between her and Yoohyeon. She taps the key card on the door and slowly opens it.

 

The room has two double beds and has a space between each other for a lamp. Dami is thankful that there are separate beds, compared to that one giant bed they had in Paris during their MINX days. She neatly lays down her luggage on the luggage rack and carefully unpacks all the clothes she’d need for the next days. Yoohyeon, on the other hand, has spread herself on the bed, still with bags hanging from her shoulders.

 

There was a deafening silence that enveloped the air of the whole room. Dami opens the closet and counts the number of clothes hanger. There are only five. She gets two for her and hangs her clothes in it and leaves three for Yoohyeon.

 

“Uh, Yoohyeon-ah, I left three hangers for you here, for your clothes.”

“Did you just take two for yourself?”

“It’s okay, mine are folded better so they’re not much too. I can easily iron them.” says Dami with a chuckle, knowing she’s teasing Yoohyeon. She closes the door of the closet and rushes to the bathroom to wash up.

 

Yoohyeon gets up from the bed and scans the room. She starts unpacking and picking the clothes she has to put in a hanger. She puts them in the closet, turns around, and Dami opens the bathroom door. They were standing face to face too close to each other that they can see clearly how the other’s eyes do not sparkle anymore. Dami steps back and Yoohyeon shifts her eyes to the floor. “Sorry,” they say to each other. “You can go out now, I’ll just go to Siyeon unnie’s room,” Yoohyeon hurries to the door and opens it immediately.

 

“Well that was awkward,” Dami tells herself when she was finally alone.

 

She picks up her phone from the bed and sees that there’s a message from Siyeon unnie telling her to go to their room once she’s done washing up. She pats dry her shoulder-length hair using a towel and combs through it. She takes the other key card and leaves their room.

 

She sees Yoohyeon walking along the corridor.

“Hey, there’s dinner at SuA and Siyeon unnie’s room. Do you know which one?”

“Of course. Where are you headed?”

“I want to wash up already, I’m a bit tired.”

Yoohyeon walks past Dami and Dami starts laughing.

“Ya, what are you gonna open our room with?” 

Yoohyeon laughs too, “Ugh! Give me the key card!”

“Catch!”

Yoohyeon fails to catch it and Dami teases her again, “See, I still don’t know why you and Minji unnie were invited to that baseball opening. Bora unnie could’ve easily caught that ball.”

“Ya! Stop teasing and go eat!” Yoohyeon cutely whines and slams the door behind her.

 

Dami enters Siyeon’s room and spots the food. She walks over to the table surveying what food is available. Dami glances at the bed and finds Siyeon just lying down.

“Unnie, where is everyone?”

Siyeon answers, lethargic, “They all got their own food and left. They’re probably all tired.”

Dami decides to take her dinner in the room with Siyeon. “I’ll eat here.”

 

Siyeon decides to catch Dami off-guard while eating, “Yaa!”

Dami screams with her high pitch voice, almost dropping her sandwich. “Unnie, I almost dropped my sandwich!! You scared me!!”

“Sorry. But I know why you’re eating your sandwich here.”

“Why…?” The bathroom door unlocks and SuA comes out with towel around her head.

“Singnie, go take a shower before you sleep in filth.”

Siyeon faces Dami and doesn’t mind SuA, “It’s because you’re roommates with Yoohyeon.” Bora picks up her own sandwich from the table and tells them, “I’ll just go to Minji and Handong’s. Ring me when you’ve washed up.”

Dami looks at the door as it closes and turns to Siyeon again, “Well it’s been very awkward,”

“It doesn’t have to be. Just imagine it’s one of those vlives wherein you’re flirting with each other!”

Dami shakes her head and smiles. “It’s really not that,”

“Well you have to comply because manager oppa did it for time efficiency,”

Dami crumples the sandwich wrapper into a ball and plays with it with her long fingers.

“Yoobin-ah… You should go back to your room and just talk to Yoohyeon.” Siyeon gets up and walks towards Dami, still lethargic.

“Yes, unnie. Thank you. You have to wash up now though so you can keep sleeping later. I’ll tell Bora unnie that I’ve left your room, just shower.”

Siyeon gives Dami a peck in the cheek and she doesn’t flinch because if there’s anyone she’s willing to get affection from (aside from Yoohyeon), that’s her Siyeon unnie. She thanks Siyeon again and carefully opens the door while she starts messaging SuA.

 

The corridor she’s walking on currently feels the shortest one. She gets to the door in seemingly a split-second and clears her throat. She presses the doorbell and hopes that Yoohyeon is already asleep or is still in the shower, whatever could delay the opening of the door...when it clicks open. Yoohyeon opens the door looking cozy with a pair of pink unicorn pajamas with a white oversized tee. Her towel is still hanging over her shoulders which means that she just got out of the shower.

 

Dami takes out her pen and notepad from her knapsack and gets ready to scribble a couple of words for her daily songwriting practice while Yoohyeon opens her unfinished book. The both turn to literature when they feel stressed, Dami writes while Yoohyeon reads. The room is once again filled with cold air and Yoohyeon feels suffocated, she can’t stand the silence. Her lungs are almost out of air so she takes a deep breath, puts down her book, and faces Dami.

 

“Yoobin-ah, we have to talk.” Yoohyeon says it so gently like she’s walking around the room with broken glass.

“Sure.”

Yoohyeon walks over to Dami’s bed and sits beside her. “Am I okay to sit here?”

Dami isn’t actually sure. Is it fine if she sits beside me? Is it fine that what I wanna do right now is hug her tight and give her a couple of kisses? Is it fine that I want to put my arms around her waist?

“Sure.”

“Yoobin, lately, I’ve been feeling a little lost. I find myself staring into space one weekday afternoon because I would suddenly think about your cheeks, or your beautiful eyes,” Yoohyeon starts to weep -- Dami’s weakness. She panics a little but manages to maintain her composure, offering her own handkerchief for Yoohyeon to wiper her tears with.

“Yoohyeon, I’ve been missing you too.” These words made Yoohyeon feel magnetized towards Dami. Her warm arms filled with longing and her body’s warmth filled with yearning, she decides to move forward and hug Dami. She isn’t taken aback, instead she accepts all these heavy feelings of loneliness and hugs her back really tight. They lay down in bed with eyes filled with tears while staring into each other’s faces. Dami slowly strokes Yoohyeon’s face, feeling all its corners like she never did before. They lie down in silence with nothing but their thoughts and feelings screaming and running around. They give each other the familiar stare of conversation and realize that they’re back in their old quiet bubble, something they haven’t done in years. They continue talking to each other through their eyes and eventually fall asleep getting lost in their gazes.

 

* * *

 

The concert has ended and the girls go to a buffet place. They decide to celebrate SuA’s birthday albeit a little too early since the place served good cake. The usual candle blowing and cake cutting happened and everyone was having fun. Minji noticed that Dami and Yoohyeon are now seated beside each other so she approaches Siyeon. The unnies share light laughter and whisper at each other as they look at Yoohyeon and Dami who are laughing together while giving each other meaningful glances. Dami looks up and finds the two unnies looking at them. She smiles directly at Siyeon -- the kind where everything is good in the world and she is thankful that is.

 

“Her eyes never lie,” Siyeon whispers to JiU.

“I know. She can tell a whole sentence with them.”

 

Back at the hotel, the managers let the girls have drinks. They have been working hard and they deserve it, plus the hotel management gave it to them as tokens of appreciation. In JiU and Handong’s room, JiU opens the bottle of champagne while SuA and Siyeon start opening a couple of hard drinks. The room is filled with the buzz of alcohol while the girls were dancing; the night was lovely and they enjoyed themselves. It’s probably one of the best they’ve had since they started doing concerts around the globe. Everyone was drinking but Dami. She didn’t want to be a burden as she doesn’t drink well, so she opted to just eat all the snacks available.

 

“Sorry kids, let’s cut this party short. We still have three more shows to go and I wouldn’t want any one of us to have a hangover for the next flight.”

The six others groan in displease but know that their Minji unnie is right,  they shouldn’t let any of the future performances suffer just because they did well before. They know the importance of being perfect, not for themselves but for their fans. Everyone start picking up the trash as JiU instructed and once done, started walking out of JiU’s room like kids who just lost a match.

 

Dami has Yoohyeon’s waist around her right arm. Yoohyeon is tipsy, maybe even drunk. "She always goes this hard even when she knows what a lightweight she is," Dami thinks to herself. She puts Yoohyeon down on her bed and she sits lies down right beside her, staring at her as she breathes.

 

“You’re so beautiful.”

 

Yoohyeon struggles to open her eyes. She wants to see the woman who just muttered those words so near her ear that it sent chills down her drunk spine.

 

“I love you.” Yoohyeon manages to open her eyes and touches Dami’s face.  
“I love you so much. You don’t know how much I fooled myself when we were apart.”

“Sssh, sssh, stop. Just rest.”

“Ya Lee Yoobin don’t shush me when I’m trying to speak to you. How many months did we spend not talking this closely? Don’t you think this is what I’ve been wanting to happen?”

Dami just laughs at her, she loves it when she’s this buzzed, she seems that she can punch anything she sets her anger at.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be quiet.”

“WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT, LITTLE YOOBIN?”

“Oh?”

Dami lands a kiss on Yoohyeon’s forehead. She knows how to calm her down, in anxiety, in stage fright, or in alcohol-induced anger.

“You…” Yoohyeon closes her eyes again.

Dami gives her a gentle kiss on the lips and Yoohyeon answers back. Their lips were talking and making love to each other and they can’t take off their supple lips from each other. Dami tugs on Yoohyeon’s lower lip, biting it as tender as she can. Yoohyeon moans, all feelings of lust, longing, and love all let out while mouthing to Dami’s lips, “I fucking missed you. Don’t you dare stop kissing me.”

 

Yoohyeon is still overcome by alcohol, but the force of lust is stronger. She removes Dami’s top and her sports bra, and she drowns in between Dami’s breasts. They both moan out loud and Yoohyeon touches Dami’s back with her warm, lustful hands.

 

“You feel warm,” Yoohyeon tells Dami, still in between her breasts.

“That’s how much I want you,” says Dami while intoxicating herself with the smell of Yoohyeon’s neck. She doesnt’ smell anything like her perfume before, she smells of alcohol and sweat, but Dami keeps smelling because she loves every inch of Kim Yoohyeon.

 

They touch each other in all the loving places of their bodies and they sweat profusely. Their sweat made from love that has been there since they were 15 and moans from strong sexual passion for each other since feeling, " _I want her so badly_." They hit all the right spots in all the right places, and they moan together while the sheets start to get dampened from their bodies.  Dami kisses all the corners of Yoohyeon’s body while Yoohyeon is busy guiding Dami’s head. They've never _wanted_ each other so much before.

 

“Just like before?” Dami asks.

“Yes,” Yoohyeon confirms.

 

The bright morning sun beckons upon their naked warm bodies, room still filled with passion from last night's pleasure-hunting and love-making. Dami is awake, her shoulder length hair in bright golden orange with the sunlight bouncing off it. She admires the beauty that is Yoohyeon, examining from her head, her collarbones, her tender breasts, her lean core, and her toned thighs. "She's just everything that I need," she mutters through her teeth. She realizes they have now come full circle and she smiles sweetly like honey at the thought of it.

"Wake up, beautiful," She kisses Yoohyeon on the forehead while her hand busy touching Yoohyeon's nose.

"Kiss me," Yoohyeon orders, and they start locking lips even before another breath escapes from them.

"We should get up, we have to eat breakfast."

 

 

They walk along the hotel's corridor and Yoohyeon has her arm around Dami's -- something they haven't done before outside vlives. Siyeon and SuA open their door and see the two walking along the corridor.

"Yaaa!" Siyeon screams at the top of her lungs.

"O, unnie!" Yoohyeon and Dami face the two unnies with warm big smiles spread across their lips.

"Well you two look suspicious," says SuA, teasing.

 

The four walk towards the elevator with various colors beaming in their eyes. Dami and Yoohyeon never let go of each other's hands during breakfast and for the remainder of the tour. Each night in their hotel room has been  _eventful_ as their love and lust for each other grow bigger and deeper.

 

They are now renewed and reunited, promised to never break (again) in the toughest of times. They know they are each other's treasures, they are each other's rainbows after the storm.

 

> "Binch, [you are my universe](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2018/01/dreamcatcher-full-moon) _._ "
> 
> "And you are mine. I promise to [draw you in my dreams everyday](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2018/01/dreamcatcher-full-moon) _._ "
> 
> "Let's  _n[ever let go of each other's hands](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2018/01/dreamcatcher-full-moon), _okay?"


	4. Sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, you have to acknowledge that the characters are young and have renewed an old flame. Please understand their actions haha. Also if you know Dami, you know she has limited words lol. Drop me Qs at curiouscat.me/crajee4jenyer

The morning basks into their soft faces with the warm sun beaming off their eyes, sparkling with passion and fondness. Their lips are fuller and cheeks are flushed, eager blood rushing beneath their flesh. They have been kissing and enjoying each other under the night light since returning to each other’s arms - they feel renewed, aptly so as a (married) couple who had just renewed their vows. They toss and turn through the sheets with their hands all over each other, bodies over and under, squirming with lust and love. They sleep in each other’s undraped beautiful figures, hugging and squeezing each other while trying to memorize how her form feels. They are back to where they started and nothing else in the world matters.

 

It’s 7:00AM and the sun is up and about in South America. Their flight back to Korea is at 9:00AM and all the members are just glued to their phones while waiting for the boarding gates to open. Yoohyeon, dressed in a peach-colored pullover tucked in in her white-washed torn denim pants is walking towards the boarding gate with Dami, their hands clasped together. Dami grips her hand tighter and smiles at her as the sun reflects on her bright hair from the airport’s clear windows. She is wearing a peach-colored pants-jumper with white v-neck inside, with a bag of sandwiches and drinks in her vacant hand. Walking together they look like a newly-reunited couple, and the rest of the group knows that, too, just through the way their skins glow.

 

“Ohhhhhh! You couple are so cute!!” Minji teases. The two look at the unnie with their small faces with their wide smiles. She gives them a sweet smile as she nudges Siyeon and SuA. The two other unnies, as usual, just look at them with teasing eyes but they are happy for them. Whenever they remember that silent chaotic night where the two came home at 3:00AM and waking up with puffy eyes the next day, they keep talking about how they could bring things back to where they were. And now that things _are_ back together, there’s nothing more to be happier about right now.

 

Dami looks at Yoohyeon’s glistening eyes and looks at their clasped hands together. She gives her a brief, sweet smile and turns her head slightly to Siyeon’s area. She knows what Dami is trying to tell her. Understanding each other’s gestures, body language, and facial expressions has been the foundation of their relationships. They instantly know when someone is frustrated with her stance, or how someone misses her family with the way she looks at her phone. They complete each other sentences and she is the yin to her yang. They are perfectly matched.

 

“I’ll see you later,” Yoohyeon tells Dami lightly.

 

SuA makes space between her and Siyeon so Dami could sit between them.

 

“So?” SuA is teasing, again. Her face right against Dami’s.

“I just followed Siyeon unnie’s advice. We talked.”

“Okay, and?” SuA pines for more.

“We’re good. We’re back together.”

 

SuA screams with her high-pitch voice, making everyone around her jump in surprise. Her scream is full of happiness and relief, mostly because maybe Yoohyeon will start sleeping in Dami’s bed again. Sometimes she can’t stand how messy she is - things falling from the top bunk to hers and a couple of used face masks that Yoohyeon used the night before. Siyeon laughs at her woman and proceeds to tapping Dami’s back like a proud parent.

 

“To think our last conversation was you having dinner in our room because you were feeling awkward,”

 

Dami gives her unnie a smile and she remembers those heart-wrenching moments where she can’t even imagine sharing a room with Yoohyeon. But now it has turned around, like the good old days, and she’d even be willing to cross the ocean just to be roommates with her.

 

The plane has successfully departed from Panama and will now fly back to Korea for them to have a short rest before they start promoting their next EP, Alone in the City. Dami loves taking care of people, most especially Yoohyeon. She buys her food when Yoohyeon doesn’t eat well because she hates being thrifty with it (food), she gives her medicine whenever she notices Yoohyeon doesn’t get out of their room, and she helps her do her laundry (especially because Yoohyeon only has two pairs of practice clothes). Taking care of Yoohyeon and other members is just second nature for her. Dami stayed up all night while Yoohyeon’s bare alluring body is draped around hers, the two of them under the linens. She loves observing how her eyelashes twitch when a dream seems to turn sour and how her lips turn to a crescent moon when a sweet dream visits her. While she can’t sleep, she decides to make a playlist for their long plane ride the next day. She decides to put songs that are memorable for her and Yoohyeon. The whole night felt like they are back to when they were younger, spending quiet quality time together. She smiles at the thought of it and continues making the playlist.

 

“Come closer, I made a playlist for our flight,”

 

Yoohyeon loves these small things from Dami. She is once again completely floored by her and she didn’t think it’d be possible, but her feelings start to burn more by the minute. She wasn’t complaining and she isn’t planning to, she’s willing to get burned with this new but old flame. She leans in closer to Dami and grabs the other earpiece. She throws her arms around the shorter girl and uses her left shoulder as her pillow.

 

“Thank you for giving me the window seat, Binch. I know you like to look at the clouds during flights, so I really appreciate this.”

“Anything, bub.”

 

Yoohyeon rubs her face on Dami’s shoulder and Dami absorbs the heat of that affection and translates it to holding Yoohyeon’s hand tighter. She starts scurrying through her music player and finds the playlist that she made for this flight and plays the first song she wants Yoohyeon to hear before she falls asleep. “Please still be awake,” Dami prays silently.

 

A familiar tune makes the half asleep Yoohyeon smile while still burying her head on Dami’s shoulder. She squints with her small closed eyes and realizes that the song is theirs.

 

“Oh! This is the song you composed!”

“Finally.”

“Umm.... what’s the title again?” Yoohyeon, who now appears to be fully awake, looks up to Dami while giving her her sweet smile, probably because she knows she’s in small trouble not knowing the title of Dami’s self-composed song.

“How dare you…” Dami playfully pulls her hands from Yoohyeon and turns her back on her. She smiles a little on her own and realizes she has missed years of _that girl_ making her smile that way. She sees Gahyeon, Handong, and Siyeon all asleep in the middle column of the plane while Minji is watching something on her phone and SuA is practicing her calligraphy.

“No! I know this!”

“It’s Scar, Yoohyeon.”  
“YES! It was at the tip of my tongue!”

“Whatever…”  
“Oh yeah, Binch, this song sounded painful though. How did you write this?”

“Remember that night you went out to drink with friends and we ended up at a cafe? Yeah, that whole night.”

 

Yoohyeon kept her sight low. She was reminded of those dark, excruciating times wherein she’d have to go through her anxieties on her own. A breath of fresh air coming from the past couple of days made her heart reassured that _that_ kind of pain will not be felt anymore.

 

Dami leans in closer to her and their lips are next to each other. She holds Yoohyeon’s chin and lifts it up right at striking distance. Dami slightly looks around and checks that all of the crew is asleep. She gently tilts her head to kiss Yoohyeon right on the lips with a longing feeling.

 

“Don’t worry now, we’ve promised, right? I will always be yours.”

 

Yoohyeon grows warm as her urge to kiss Dami gets stronger. “I really missed your lips, Binch. Those nights weren’t enough.” The naturally timid Dami gets shy over her girlfriend’s confession. Yoohyeon doesn’t mind and takes advantage of the blood rushing in her cheeks and touches them delicately as she leans in and locks lips with her girlfriend. She doesn’t let any breath escape from them while Yoohyeon works her way from Dami’s cheek to her ear. Dami flinches slightly because Yoohyeon knows where to touch her. She feels like she’s in a constant daze seeing Yoohyeon’s face everyday and when she touches her in places that she likes, a ray of white light comes into her and she feels a different kind of daze. She gets back quickly into her senses like the person that she is and gently, slowly, pushes Yoohyeon’s lips away using both her index and middle finger together.

 

“Not here, bub. We’ll be dead and you know that.” Yoohyeon pants but steals one last peck from Dami.

“I thought you were going to sleep?”

“Excuse me. Stop being so hot, then.”

 

They giggle in low voices, careful not to wake anyone up (AKA the managers). Yoohyeon rises from her seat and reaches in their overhead cabin, her height making everything seem so easy. She clutches on to her bag as she sits down and Dami catches up that she is up to something.

 

“Are you hiding anything?”

“Huh? Why would I hide anything?”

“Because I know you, Kim Yoohyeon.” Yoohyeon looks cutely flustered and gives Dami a huge pout.

“Okay,” She takes out a gift wrapped in brown paper and thin brown rope with a bow on top of it.

“What’s that?” Dami asks with excitement that she can’t hide.

“I got it from a bookstore that Minji unnie and I passed by while shopping at Paris.”

“And you are only giving this to me now?”

“Well, I thought I had to wait a little longer. And something in me felt that I could give this to you this tour.” Her voice sounded bright and full of hope. She thinks it was the perfect timing to hand this book to Dami.

“What’s this book though?”

“Umm, I also don’t know. I just got it from a ‘Surprise Yourself’ rack and it reminded me of you.”

“How so?”

“Because this little face and body is full of surprises. One day she will blurt out aegyo in front of the camera, next she will explode with charisma, sometimes even sexy! And then off-stage she takes good care of all her members - this small person!”

Dami was glad of what she heard and her smile reaches both her ears. “Okay, I guess I am,” she thinks to herself.

“And that’s why I love you so much. Why don’t you go ahead and open it?”

Dami calmly opens the wrapper even if she’s ecstatic because it’s a book and most of all - her girlfriend bought it for her - _FROM PARIS!_

“How did you manage to bring it with you, though?” Dami asks suspiciously while still opening the wrapper carefully.

“Oh, I just asked Bora unnie to keep it for me because who else would I trust with being organized.”

Dami finally completely opens it and she flips the book over. She laughs a little while covering her lips and shakes her head. She thinks how this mistake is such a Yoohyeon thing to happen.

“Yoohyeon-ah, look at this book.”

Dami flashes the book right in front of her eyes and pushes it straight to her face. Her face is in disbelief.

“OH MY GOD! IT’S NOT AN ENGLISH BOOK!” Yoohyeon spent a good minute laughing her face off like a crazed maniac  and Dami does her high-pitched laugh while clapping. Yoohyeon ends up snorting and Dami out of breath. She can’t believe she gave Dami a French book!

“Well I guess this is a perfect case of, ‘It’s the thought that counts.’ ” Dami is still laughing with the same pitch, having a seemingly unending laugh attack.

“Yoohyeon-ah, don’t worry, I still love you no matter what.” Dami breathes deeply and stops herself from laughing any further.

 

This beautiful dynamics is what they have been banking on in their relationship. There was never a dull time, never a fleeting moment with someone not expressing her feelings. They continue to laugh and tease each other, Yoohyeon stealing adorable quick kisses from time to time. And Dami loves it. She doesn’t show it much especially in public but she likes it that Yoohyeon shows how crazy she is for her. After all, years of knowing each other have made them fully aware of their love languages. Yoohyeon likes receiving acts of service and physical touch while Dami likes receiving gifts - (no matter how small they are) but what they share in common is that the both of them likes quality time.

 

Yoohyeon checks her phone and goes through her messages while Dami is half asleep but still listening to the playlist she made, their hands still intertwined almost like glued together. Yoohyeon looks at Dami and is slightly positively bemused that they’re together again. She still can’t believe it, and all those loving nights still feel like a dream. She presses on Dami’s hand even tighter and she wakes up in an instant.

 

“What’s wrong, bub?” Dami looks at Yoohyeon with deep, concerned eyes.

“Nothing, but my Dad wants me to go straight home after arriving. You think managers will be fine with that?”

“They always give us a brief rest, I’m sure that’s fine. Besides you’re just in Incheon.”

“You’re right. I’m just staying overnight I think. Maybe Dad has some presents for me!”

“Oh, where’d he go last?”

“New Zealand, with my mom. I wanted to visit it too but they said they couldn’t wait for me.”

“Awww, that’s okay. We can visit it next time!” Dami knows the things to tell Yoohyeon and even if it’s a far stretch from where they are right now, she happily dreams of the day that she gets to travel with her. Yoohyeon holds her hand and squeezes it, her way of saying thank you for being in my future dreams.

“Just make sure to arrive safely home, to the dorm.”

“I’ll always come back home, back to you.”

Dami feels her cheeks turn balmy and Yoohyeon keeps her eyes on her. She sees her cheeks turn pink and Yoohyeon lays her head on Dami’s perfectly angled shoulder. She hugs her arm and Dami grabs on to her hand and squeezes it.

 

“I love you, Kim Yoohyeon,” and All Of Me by John Legend starts playing in their ears. The song sends them to a calming mood and Yoohyeon looks out of the window and stares at the fluffy white clouds and clear blue sky. Her heart is warm from their passionate reunion and Dami knows how to keep it that way with just a single song. _Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections._ And she does - they do - the way Yoohyeon makes Dami laugh whenever she goes all clumsy and topples over food or drinks and how Dami’s body arcs up when she reaches her limit when they make love. They are madly in love, as they have always been. “I love you, Lee Yoobin,” They share the whole row to themselves as Yoohyeon tries to lie down by putting her head on Dami’s lap and stretches part of her legs on the seats while Dami reaches for her hand and grabs it before they both go to sleep. Their racing, beating hearts are now simply resting peacefully with the assurance that when they wake up, someone is there to touch her and tell her, “I love you.” They fall fast and deep asleep, knowing that their next destination would be home.

 

They arrive in Korea safe and sound with their company cars parked right at the exit of the airport and Yoohyeon’s family car right beside them. Yoohyeon sees their car out in the bright afternoon sunlight and sighs deeply. Dami, who is holding the trolly for both her and Yoohyeon’s luggages, turns to check what the sighing was all about.

 

“What’s wrong?”

Yoohyeon points to the exit door and Dami already knows what she means. Her heart sinks while Yoohyeon’s small eyes turn gloomy and her lips curve upside down. She doesn’t cry but she turns around and breathes all the sadness in and exhaling positivity out.

 

“Yoohyeon-ah, it’s okay! It’s just one night!”

“I know, but since we got back together I can’t think of not sleeping beside you.”

 

And Dami feels the same, of course. She thinks getting back together is both a blessing and a curse - unable to get enough of each other and craving each other’s touch every single time of the day. “Are we being overly dramatic?” Dami thinks to herself and answers no through her teeth. It is never overly dramatic to love and want someone this much. She puts down Yoohyeon’s luggage and pulls her close and gives her a tight, heartwarming hug.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” She whispers to Yoohyeon while her eyes are kept to her feet. They squeeze each other’s hands before Yoohyeon picks up her luggage and heads on to their family car. Siyeon approaches Dami with a half-asleep SuA tugged in her hand.

 

“You okay?”

“More than better, actually.”

“Yeah, she’ll be back tomorrow.”

 

Yoohyeon says bye and hugs everyone but goes back to Dami to hug her one last time (for that day), a solid hug with a pang of longing. “I miss you already, message me,” Yoohyeon mutters into Dami’s ears. She walks towards the exit door with the afternoon light beaming through her slender figure and Dami looks yearningly at her while she tugs on her luggage towards the sun’s rays. Siyeon walks towards her and notices how she is looking at Yoohyeon with much passion and taps her back. It’s become second nature to her since _that night_ and always had the unwritten rule of making sure that the _those two_ are feeling okay. She can’t just let them wander off into their own lives without any guidance and she believes she needs to help them accept certain things that make our life turn sour. She was their soundboard, the best person who knows what’s going on inside their heads and hearts. That’s why when the two were roommates during the tour, she knew it was just a matter of time until they rekindle their old flame and get back together for good. JiU moves closer to the three, SuA still half asleep, and grabs Dami by her hand.

 

“The unnies will be going out later so take care of Gahyeon and Handong for me, okay? Just order food or something.”

“Okay, unnie. Have fun.”

“At least you’ll get to spend more time with them now that Yoohyeon is home with her parents. I know what the two of you will be up to.”

 

Dami blushes because her unnie is right. Nothing is more passionate in a locked bedroom than two people who have just given each other a second chance. She suddenly misses the hand she was holding the whole flight and the face she wakes up to every morning for the past week so she takes out her phone opens her messaging app. She sees multiple messages from Yoohyeon who, in a matter of 30 minutes, have managed to send her a selfie, a photo of their family driver, and a couple of text messages saying how much she misses her and how she’ll act as if the pillow on her bed tonight is _her_ Lee Yoobin. Dami replies with, “ _Don’t make the pillow get too wet or it will be my rival._ ” and Yoohyeon urgently replies with an, “ _I KNOW YOU’RE TEASING ME!!!”_ and Dami laughs quietly while she’s behind all the members.

 

* * *

 

Yoohyeon arrives at their house, her younger sister welcoming her with open arms, running and screaming to hug her tightly. Her dad who also had just gotten home from work opened his arms wide and Yoohyeon rushes to him and puts her arms around him.

 

"I missed you, dad!!!"

"I missed you too, baby! We're having dinner at your favorite restaurant tonight so go dress up nicely!"

 

She ascends the stairs with light feet, finds her most comfortable dress, and dashes downstairs. She loves her family so much and would do anything to maximize the time she has with them, especially now that there are promotions again happening soon. The family is now inside the car and are currently on their way to Yoohyeon's favorite restaurant which is a 25-minute drive. Yoohyeon looks out into the window and sees the number of couples walking around, hand in hand. She looks at her phone and clicks the power button, her home page is a photo of her and Dami inside their hotel room's full body mirror - they look amazing, they look happy. Their smiles are as bright as the sun at its zenith and not a single cloud hovers over it. Yoohyeon's younger sister nudges her.

 

"Unnie," She points to her phone and they exchange meaningful and surprised glances. "I thought you've moved on?"

"We're back together." Yoohyeon tells her in broken whispers.

Her sister's eyes widen and her face looks happy. She gives Yoohyeon a stern look with high spirits and holds her hand, still whispering, "As long as you're happy."

"Thank you."

"Tell her I said hello. She should come hang out with us again. Mom would love to have her around again."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

 

The family arrives at the fancy restaurant in Incheon and the siblings get off the car hand in hand. They have been holding each other's hands since Yoohyeon told her sister that she's back with Dami. Her sister is happy, ecstatic even, as she knows how much they love each other and wants nothing but happiness for the both of them since that's just what they deserve.

 

The family finishes ordering dinner and they all get steak and wine since her mom is a huge fan of Han Citruss Soju and Yoohyeon and her sister loves steak. Yoohyeon gulps one glass down of the wine, surprising everyone, and holds on to her sister's hand under the table. She has a plan and she's been wanting to do this for a while now. She loves her family and she can't stay suffocated inside her home with the people that she loves. An impulse tells her to do it now because with all the fresh memories she has made with the love of her life, it's easier to numb any ill feelings should her plan doesn't paint out well. There's another impulse that tells her to just shut up and enjoy the dinner with her family. But a voice screams inside her, saying it's, "Now or never!"

 

"Mom, Dad, I need to tell you something."

A solid lump blocks her airway and even gulping feels hard. She can't believe she's opening this conversation on her only day with her family since months ago. She shivers and keeps her head low, her sister now gripping her hand. Her dad continues to drink his wine but his eyes concentrate on Yoohyeon. Her mom, on the other hand, stops with her wine and puts down the glass, with eyes keen that she has a hankering for her daughter's words.

 

"Yes, sweetie?" Asks her mom, signaling Yoohyeon that the balls are in her court.

"Mom, Dad," Her grip to her sister's hand strengthens, seemingly breaking her bones. Her shoulders rise and her stomach feels funny. "Do I really have to do it now?" She asks herself.

"I like girls."

The words jump out of her mouth with the taste of blood on her tongue. She doesn't know how wrong or right the timing was, or how she probably ruined their fine dining mood, but for once she only thinks about herself. She finally did it, and she's happy. 

Dead air sweeps through the table while her mom is  staringat her, unblinking. Her dad, on the other hand, attempts to look at his phone but of course appears ultimately distracted. Fortunately for the party, the steaks arrive just on time before the eerie silence decides to extend itself any longer. The sounds of clinking metals and porcelain are what can be heard from the unusually quiet family. They enjoy the steak quietly while looking at nothing, no one, but the steak and silver.

 

"Anything else, sir?" The server approaches Yoohyeon's dad.

"Yes, just bring us a bottle here please. We need it."

"Coming right up, sir."

 

Yoohyeon's mind is in shambles. She feels sick to her stomach that this confession could probably break their family. Her hands are sweaty and her palms are filled with electricity. She slowly observes her mom and dad's faces, with pity and guilt overcoming her. It wasn't her fault that she liked girls and it certainly isn't her fault that she doesn't want to change. Still sitting awfully quiet in the table, Yoohyeon's dad decides to finish his own glass and raises it to his family, looking like he is about to give cheers. Yoohyeon is confused, of course he isn't (giving cheers), right?

"This empty glass signifies me and the wine that is about to be poured in is you, Yoohyeon. I'm emptying my cup so you can fill it in,"

 

Yoohyeon's sister grips her hand even tighter and tears escape from her eyes, drowning her face with it. She starts sobbing uncontrollably and her lungs feel tight but because of her happy tears. She stands up sluggishly still with tears in her eyes and runs to her dad across the table like a small kid, while hugging him from behind. She can't believe it. She was ready to stay in the dorms forever should her parents kick her out when she comes out to them but here she is, welcomed warmly by one of the most important people in her life.

Her mom stands up from where she is seated, approaches her, and hugs her warmer than the summer. Yoohyeon's heart melts through her feet the way her mom showed her how she accepts her for what she is. "They love me for what I am," she tells herself while her mom is wiping her tears using the table napkin and Yoohyeon teasing her, saying that those are only for food stain not for a beautiful face. A mother's hug never fails and it did feel different being around her arms, Yoohyeon thinks. Her mom gently cups her face, her palm against her cheek and her fingers just below her ears. She stares lovingly at her beautiful child, still not believing that her daughter grew up to be this graceful.

 

"Introduce me to her soon?"

"Huh?"

"I want to meet her. Or if there's no one yet, whoever you’ll date in the future."

"Of course, mom."

 

Dami gave her the courage to come out to her parents. Her sister has always known and has always been supportive about it but telling it to her parents was a different feat. Her courage stemmed from how she and her girlfriend both had the strength to tread through problematic waters but still come out victoriously. She has learned that only courage and hard work earns people trophies.

 

* * *

 

Dami, Gahyeon, and Handong are in their (company) van on the way to Han River. JiU told her to feed themselves with delivery and have fun with her Handong unnie and Gahyeon so she thought of a good way to spend this free day with the two relatively new members who are dear to her heart. She brings the basket of food and drinks they have prepared back in the dorm while Gahyeon hops off the van with an umbrella in her hand and Handong basks under the summer sun with her arms wide open under the sky. The youngest hates the sun and the heat so she opens the big golf umbrella and covers the three of them. Dami doesn’t mind the heat, in fact she loves it. She steps out of the umbrella so the two can be comfortable under it.

 

“Unnie! Our dermatologist said to stay away from heat!”

“Oh it’s fine, it won’t be that long,” and she proceeds to walking fast as she carries their food basket under the shade of a big tree. She puts the heavy food basket down and spreads the huge cloth where they will be sitting on. She really is like the big sister in this group as she likes taking care of people. Gahyeon and Handong start taking photos while Dami is still arranging their food and drinks.

 

“Hey, kids, you can sit now.”

“I’m not a kid!”

“I know, unnie. I was just teasing you!”

 

The warm summer air rustles through the leaves of the tree they’re using as shade from the harsh sun, and the same air brushes through their hair as they look out into the river and watch families and couples walk around the riverbank. The unnies are in an Indian Seat pose and Gahyeon decides to rest her head on Dami’s lap.

 

“Unnie, when are you going to date?”

“What nonsense are you saying? Do you wanna get off my lap?!”

“No, I mean… I want to see one of the unnies go on dates and tell me stories about how her date went. I mean aside from Bora and Singnie unnie.”

“Why don’t you read just some of those fan fics are fans write?”

“Because they never write me as someone with a partner!”

“Well, do you have one, though?”

“Yes…”

 

Handong and Dami look at each other with eyes as big as a large gobstopper and they cover their muffled silent screams with their hands. They slowly pan their eyesight to Gahyeon who is still lying down, unfazed by the confession she just made to the unnies.

 

“I KNEW IT! THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS HAVE PHONE CALLS AT NIGHT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING TO YOUR DAD?!”

“Well, I call him dad…”

“OH MY GOD LEE GAHYEON, YOU YOUNG LADY!” A scandalized Dami screams as she pushes Gahyeon up from her lap.

“Ya Lee Gahyeon! Where is this guy from? And since when?!”

“Unnies, can you all chill? We’re in a long distance relationship so don’t worry about scandals or anything.”

“Baby, that’s not it. We are concerned because of this cruel world and cruel people.” And Dami really is. She knows how painful heartbreak is and the reason she survived it was because she could still see her every waking excruciating day.

“Unnie, I’m -- ”

“Yes, we know, you’re not a little girl anymore,” Handong cuts off Gahyeon abruptly before she says her lines again. “And we know you’re an adult and can handle your life. But the pains of going through this hellish world is really something we wouldn’t want for you to experience.”

Gahyeon looks up and stares at the dancing leaves. Her eyes turn deep and become watery from the unnies’ touching words. She wipes the little beads of tears using the tissues in their picnic basket and examines the content of it. She hands the chocolate-flavored soya drink to Dami and opens the other two drinks for her and Handong.

Dami quaffs more than half of her protein drink and turns to Gahyeon. “Do you think it will work though? Long distance relationships?”

“I mean, I guess it depends on the people. But of course it’s hard.”

“I know. That’s a challenge. I know I can’t last that.”

“Well, so far, we’re good. But I know that we’re young and anything can happen. I’m just really happy whenever I talk to him and he says so is he.”

Handong looks into Gahyeon’s eyes while she’s talking about how happy and secured she feels with her boyfriend. She is radiant and happy, and Handong has never seen her like this before.

“Okay, Gahyeon-ah, the look on your face when you talk about him is different. I guess you know what you’re doing.”

“I do, unnie. Don’t worry.”

 

The three gather into a hug and they all look into each other’s eyes. They have just started their journeys together and no one is about to give up. If someone gets hurt, someone else is here to console her and another one is out there to seek vengeance. And that’s exactly their dynamics within the group - that’s why they treat each other as family.

 

“Just let me know when he cheats on your or something. Wherever he is, I’ll ask Bora unnie or Yoohyeon to send him a flying kick **_and_ ** I’ll personally hit him with my steel pole. Understood?”

 

* * *

 

**_Few months later_ **

 

Dami is in her bedroom, ears covered by noise-cancelling earphones and eager to write her verses. Yoohyeon is in the living room with Siyeon, playing Rules of Survival and being extremely loud. Yoohyeon’s phone vibrates as they were just about to _get that chicken_ but gets distracted because her mom was calling.

 

“Sorry, unnie! It’s my mom!”

“Ugh we could’ve gotten that chicken!!!!!”

 

Yoohyeon rushes to where her girlfriend is locked in and sits on her bed. Dami is on her desk as she writes but puts down her pencil and moves next to Yoohyeon, unable to control not touching her. She faces Yoohyeon’s back, puts her slender arms around her, and rests her chin on the taller girl’s left shoulder. Yoohyeon taps her head with the hand that isn’t holding the phone and she starts kissing her shoulder, slowly moving up to her neck and to her ear.

 

“Oh mom! Yes! What’s up?” Yoohyeon purposely made her voice loud so Dami can stop teasing her and let her talk to her mom in peace.

“Don’t be a tease!” she mouths to Dami while she’s listening to her mom. Dami chuckles and stands up, sit right back to her chair, and starts listening to her music again. She gives Yoohyeon that privacy whenever she’s on the phone with her family because every couple needs that, no matter how long they have been together. Dami holds her pencil upright again and starts writing words, phrases, and lines. She gets lost into her song writing exercise that she almost jumps when Yoohyeon slides her fingers on her arm.

 

“Jesus! You surprised me!”

“Sorry, miss writer.”

 

Yoohyeon kneels down and she rests her arms on Dami’s seated lap. She lifts her head up as Dami crouches down to hold her face with her long hands and gives her a soft peck on the lips. Yoohyeon races for Dami’s lower lip and sucks on it, their lips fiery of amorous kisses, as Dami enjoys Yoohyeon’s upper lip. Their moist soft lips gently take over each other as their breaths refuse to escape them. They are in their own world once again and nothing else matters.

 

“How do you kiss _that_ good?” Yoohyeon asks her girlfriend. Dami doesn’t notice but she projects a smug smile and gives Yoohyeon a strong peck on the lips.

“Binch, you literally take my breath away. And I can’t stop kissing you.”

“Just say thank you.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen Lee Yoobin this arrogant. I like it, though?”

“You do?” Dami gets up from her chair and pulls Yoohyeon up as well. She pushes Yoohyeon to the closet’s door then slowly comes in and starts kissing her neck. Yoohyeon fidgets and her knees start to feel weak. She holds Dami’s shoulders and gently pushes her away.

“Binch, oh my gosh, we can’t do this here. And not right now.”

“Are you seriously giving me blue balls….”

“Binch, my mom wants to go have dinner with us.”  
“Us? Two? All seven? Or? When?”

“Or. Tonight.”

 

Dami freezes and the news sends her spine to a frenzy.

 

“Did they say why?” Dami asks, still visually and now vocally shaking.

“They said they saw our Halloween v-live a couple of months ago and my sister was actually at the busking.”

“And?”

“They said we looked so _close_.”

“Okay?”

“...”

“Yoobin, my family knows.”

“About?”

“Me.”

 

Dami’s frozen body thaws and she starts feeling warm again. She can’t believe Yoohyeon never told her about it but she’s happy for her. She starts wondering if she can ever do the same to her very religious family. She stops to ponder about it but the thought eventually slides from her mind as she doesn’t want to deal with that yet. She steps away from Yoohyeon, catches her breath, and looks at the window beside her bed, the sunset looking beautiful from that view. She faces Yoohyeon again and gives her the sweetest smile.

 

“Wow, I’m so proud of you, bub. Since when?”

“When we got home from the Latin America Tour. I’ve told you before - once I meet someone who’s worth the risk of not being able to come home to my parents, I’ll come out to them.”

 

Dami’s cheeks start to feel summery and her cute, soft cheeks turn dark pink with Yoohyeon’s confession. She came out to her family because of her and that is the sweetest thing anyone has done for her; she can’t even do it for herself.

 

“So they wanted to have dinner because they noticed that we were sweet? From months ago?”

“Yeah, well.”

“Hahaha, that’s the reason why I stayed away from you during that vlive but you just can’t resist me, huh?”

“Oh my God you are so arrogant right now, Lee Yoobin!! Well, what do you expect? You gave me my best orgasm just hours before that broadcast. You even obliged to my fantasy. Of course I was still dazed!”

“Okay, fair, anyway. If we are having dinner with your family, we should wash up now.”  
“Oh, good idea. Our driver will pick us up from here and bring us to [La Vista](https://www.tripadvisor.com.au/Restaurant_Review-g297889-d12799718-Reviews-La_Vista-Incheon.html).”

 

Yoohyeon is dressed in a simple yet elegant turquoise blue form-fitting dress with victorian sleeves that drop through half her arm, with closed-toe heels that are half inch in height. Dami, on the other hand, is wearing plain purple button down tucked in in a dark blue pair of slacks pants that fit her backsides perfectly, with a pair of medium-height boots topped off with a pinstripe coat. Dami was the last to leave the apartment because she had to double check if Yoohyeon had left anything. She rushes down staircase leading to their building’s main door and Yoohyeon is standing there, beside the van, her purse clutched by her underarm. The sight of this dapper Dami gave her heart a good rush and she had to hold her chest to feel how fast her heartbeat is. “God damn, I’m the luckiest,” she tells herself and continues to gaze at her woman as she approaches her.

 

“You okay, bub?” Dami waves her hand in front of Yoohyeon’s eyes. She shakes her head and blinks, looking like she just woke up from a spell.

“Sorry, you were just… mesmerizing. In that outfit. It gave me a heart attack.”

Dami smirks and shakes her head, seemingly in disbelief. She smiles back at Yoohyeon while scrunching her nose and it takes her heart to another leap, another jump. Yoohyeon laughs at herself, at how much she is floored just by Dami’s looks. She realizes how _much_ she actually loves her. She does love all of her. She’s crazy about her.

 

She finally gets inside the car and sits beside the dapper woman she’s with. Dami takes her one hand and sandwiches it in between her two hands. Yoohyeon felt something - Dami’s hands are cold and unusually sweaty - she feels fear in her touch.

 

“Binch, it will be fine. Let’s just have fun. My mom loves you, remember?”

“As a girlfriend?”

“That’s not a problem. She’s probably even happy she’ll have someone to contact when she needs me.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And remember my sister loves you?”

 

Dami breathes deeply, increasing the air capacity of her lung, slowly breathing in and slowly breathing out. It’s Yoohyeon’s turn to hold her hand and make her feel comfortable about having dinner with her family.

 

They step outside the car and are greeted by receptionists. They are led to the table where “Mr. Kim” is and Yoohyeon finds her parents and her sister just chatting about. She grabs Dami’s hand and walks towards her family.

 

“Mom, Dad, you’ve met Yoobin, right?”

 

Yoohyeon’s mom looks at Dami with gleaming eyes and hides her gaped mouth with her hands. The last time Dami went to their house was before they debuted as Dreamcatcher. She still had long hair and a really small frame - she was nineteen and naive. Now she has grown to be a woman who dresses up in suits and boots who knows herself a lot better.

 

“Yoobin! Oh my gosh, look at you! You look amazing! You look incredible!”

 

The couple sits down and as expected, enjoys the dinner throughout the night. Conversations flowed from left to right like a beautiful calm ocean, hearing nothing but the birds and the sound of the waves hitting the shore. Dami didn’t feel a single hint of disagreement or dejectedness that she is dating their daughter - or more like Yoohyeon is dating a woman, and she feels grateful for them for being this accepting and loving of Yoohyeon. She vows to always understand and look after her and Yoohyeon’s dad gives her a huge high five. Her parents tell them that they trust in them and that they shouldn’t hurt each other. “ _When you are able to hurt the person you love, it’s time to break up_ .” The words of Yoohyeon’s parents pierce through their senses and skins, and they promise to keep all their words in their hearts. The couple say their thanks and Dami hugs all of the family members. Yoohyeon’s mom hugs her extra tight while saying, “ _Take care of her for me_ ,” to which Dami responds, “ _I most definitely will._ ” She grips her mom’s hands tightly while giving her this look of certainty. She knows she will take care of Yoohyeon and nothing else mattered more to her than her.

 

On their way home, Dami falls silent while looking out at the window. Still holding and playing with Yoohyeon’s hands in silence, they enjoy their quality quiet time together until Yoobin starts tapping on her phone.

 

“Binch, what are you looking for?”

“I want to find a salon that’s open at this time. Do you know of any?”

“Yeah I think there’s one around our neighborhood.”

“Can we go there now? I want a pixie.”

“Woah.  And you’re not telling any of the stylist unnies?”

“No, this is something I’d like to do by myself. I want to be me.”

"Wow. I love you. Let's go."

 

Dami sits on the barber chair and looks at her new short hair. It’s January, it’s winter, it’s -17degrees, but this new hair brought fire to her personality. "It's a brand new me," she tells herself. She feels renewed, rebranded, re-established. Gone are the old days where she has to act girly to be appreciated well as an idol. She gets to express herself through her hair and she loves how she can just flip it using her hand and there’s a whole aura from her gesture.

 

“Yoohyeon! Look! This could be a new gesture for me!”

“Go on, go work that hair!”

 

Yoohyeon is so proud of her. She’s come so far from that long-haired girl who’s awkward with dresses to this short-haired woman who loves wearing suits and knows who and what she really is. Yoohyeon looks at her with eyes that are only for her; she has never seen Dami this confident about herself. She remembers those days when she would complain to her about the skirt being too short or the top being too tight. Now she styled her hair on her own and it looks like she’s starting to gain her own voice with her style. She’s never been more proud of her, and she’s never fallen more deeply in love.

 

“I’m so proud of you, you know that?”

“Thank you. So how do I look?”

“Amazing. Stunning. Confident. And definitely butch.”

“Sweet.”


	5. Looking Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Currently set in 2026, they are all living their different lives. Some things go as planned, some perfectly, some with little alterations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise there's a Chapter 6! Double drop! Next chapter is the final one!
> 
> PS - it's long so don't read if you're in a hurry :D

The clouds are dark blue with a hint of gray and the skies sound like anger thundering through the roof. The window from where Yoohyeon is seated is moist and the raindrops hit the glass too heavily that it seemed like someone was throwing stones at it. She stares at the cold, clear window, shaken by the loud noise the chaos of the strong wind and rain are battling for. She sits still, quietly scrolling through her phone, when a photo of a woman with a small face and pixie-cut hair dressed up in a tuxedo and pointy boots shows up on her feed. She stops her hand from going through another scroll and puts down her phone as she feels her breathing starts getting jagged and her hand starts going into shock. She looks out the window with bawling skies crashing right before the glass pane. Her eyes pan into the dark night outside her room as she starts walking towards it with heart sinking through her feet, legs unable to move as if attached to massive chains. She breathes in deep, 1, 2, 3, and breathes it all out, 1, 2, 3. She knew what that image was; she knew who it was. A creep of cold, longing feeling crawls through her spine up to her face, her cheeks cold from the sweat and shock. She drags her feet to her bed which is just beside the window showing the stormy night, and she feels dampened as if she was under the harsh, strong rain. She joins her bed as she attempts to get her shit together and curls into a human sphere. She puts the whole blanket up to her head, her hands still a little shaky from the image on her phone while pondering how, a person who has been blocked off from her life since the past few years, has found her way back into her eyes. She shudders and stares into the blackness inside her curled up blanket and she replays the woman's image in her head. Her instinct tells her to leave her phone on her desk but emotions tell her go to look at that gorgeous woman again. She falls asleep while thinking about the familiar face that she used to made love to and with, but her eyes not watery from thinking about her -- a first in years. 

 

The morning greets Yoohyeon with clear blue skies, moist dirt, and bright green leaves. The air is as chilly as January nights but the sun is as hot as August afternoons. The girl who had just woken up from a deep, emotional slumber rises to take a look at the view outside her window. She feels tranquil yet desolated, happy yet heartbroken. Once again she is reminded that the only person she wants beside her is now thousands of miles away. But she's okay, she's fine. She's been dealing with the pain for a couple of years now and she has made significant progress. Yoohyeon gets up from her comfortable bed and slowly walks towards her desk where her phone is, placed upside down from last night's photo that surprised her and made her feel things again. She unlocks her phone and sees calls and messages from Gahyeon.

 

"Unnieeee~~~ I'm here~~"

"Unnie where are you????"

"Why are you!!?????"

"Omg Unnie!!!! You're still the same!!!!!"

 

Yoohyeon stops scrolling through Gahyeon's messages and quickly combs through her hair with her hands and rushes out her room. She runs to their dining room where she finds her family enjoying breakfast her mom prepared for Gahyeon.

 

"Aren't you late to pick Gahyeon up?"

 

And she is. She is 1.5 hours late to pick up her baby sister from the airport. She looks at her watch and in true Yoohyeon fashion, panics and screams while looking for her car keys and coat. Her sister helps her with the car key and she finally finds her coat. She dashes out the door and drives fast to the airport as if she were chasing her dreams way back when she was in Dreamcatcher -- always moving forward, no looking backwards nor slowing down. This move actually brought great success to the group from their humble beginnings, capping off their 2021 World Tour in a sold out Tokyo Dome concert, as well as all the other concerts that preceded the last one. Yoohyeon left Dreamcatcher the same year because her dad got better opportunities in Germany. The benefits are massively outweighed by the drawbacks of this move and after rigorous discussions and arguments as a family, they have decided to leave as a whole and it's a matter of "all or nothing." Her dad had made sure that their move to another continent is all worth it. That even if it had cost Yoohyeon the greatest love of her life, he made sure he'll be there for her every time and anytime she needs anything. Yoohyeon is a personal vocal teacher in a company that she co-owns with Gahyeon's husband of three years now. The reason Gahyeon is coming over to Germany is to oversee her husband’s company who is off to Poland for 2 months for work.

 

Yoohyeon arrives at the airport where she finally hits the brake pedal and runs towards the arrivals area. She sees Gahyeon and her familiar pout when she's about to burst into anger from impatience so she does her cute puppy face while scrunching her nose and making her smile reach the heavens.

 

"Stop the aegyo, unnie. I'm hungry."

 

Yoohyeon moves like the speed of light and grabs the younger girl's luggages. She tugs all of them and pulls them down carefully as she reaches the car. Gahyeon notices her unnie's eyes that glisten below the morning sun and sees familiar sadness in them. She opens her mouth as if to speak and ask what lies beneath them but decides she shouldn't welcome her that way when she knows that the social media - and the world - has been under a frenzy since Lee Yoobin came out as the first openly lesbian ex-idol. Gahyeon doesn't even know if Yoohyeon knows about that but she knows she shouldn't say anything that may dampen the always bright Yoohyeon. Or maybe she thinks she's already in low spirits but she knows better than to put salt into the wound. Gahyeon joins Yoohyeon in the passenger seat, while the beautiful driver is choosing which radio station to put on for her precious visitor. She had missed her. She hasn’t seen her since a year ago when Gahyeon had toured Europe for one month for her honeymoon. It’s always been her regret that she wasn’t able to attend her wedding in Seoul but circumstances didn’t allow her to be there for her special day. All six were there - Siyeon with SuA, who are now living together with Siyeon having a solo career and SuA having her own crafts store, Handong with her fiance who is a self-made multi-billionaire in China, JiU with her pastry business partner AKA her life partner, and Dami who brought her dad as her plus one. It was Gahyeon’s most memorable day but it would’ve been much better had Yoohyeon been there but unfortunately her application to become a German resident does not allow her to leave the country within 5 years of entry. Gahyeon remembers all those memories from that beautiful day and how much fun and hardships they’ve been through just to get to where they eventually got to. She remembers the tears, the happiness, and the excitement preparing for albums and comebacks, and she remembers how meaningful each member was for her. For those times that Yoohyeon was checking up on how she is doing being far away from her family, she would attempt to do the same and check how her unnie has been doing.

 

“Hey, unnie. So are you having fun working with my husband?”

 

She exclaims with a resounding yes and starts talking about how she did not know that this is the job that she’d want to do her whole life. She still covers dances and learns choreographies, but only does it for herself now as work out or just self achievement of completing another task. She says that her love for music has just reached a different peak and depth and it’s all because she is actually sharing her love for it.

 

“Sounds good! How are you though? Like  _ how _ are you?”

 

Yoohyeon tenses up and brings her shoulder to a straight line. She grips on the wheel tighter and brings her shoulders to her back. She squints her eyes and makes puddles of questions ahead of her as if she doesn’t have to concentrate on the road. She takes a deep breath and decides she needs to tell Gahyeon what’s really going on.

 

“I think I saw Yoobin on social media yesterday.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t know how, I’m sure I blocked and muted everything about her.”

“Oh, well,” Gahyeon breathes deeply and lets out a heavy sigh.

“It could be a news post because she came out,”   
“She did what?” Yoohyeon’s car tires screech and she pulls over in an instant. Her pupils start getting smaller under the afternoon light but she stares into the light blue sky.

“Yeah, she came out to everyone. She’s the first ex-idol ever to do so. She made history.”

 

Yoohyeon is floored. She can’t believe what she just heard. A Lee Yoobin coming out to the world when she can’t even think of coming out to her family before? Even to herself!

 

“Wow. I’m so happy for her! Would you know how her family is with it?”

“Well you know how her dad is. She brought him to my wedding and they were even wearing matching tuxedos! As for her mom, I don’t really know yet...”

“Wow. I’m really so happy for her.”

 

Electricity flows through her hands and she starts rubbing them together. The woman that was used to be too scared to even cut her hair has now come a long way. The woman she loves made history.

 

“Well, what about you, unnie? Are you happy?”

“I am happy and contented, Gahyeon. You know how much happiness my work fills me with.” Yoohyeon starts driving again but looks at her rear view mirror before stepping on the gas pedal. She breathes in the cold air from the air-condition and Gahyeon looks out the window and brings her eyes back to Yoohyeon.

 

“Do you still think about her? I mean before that image you saw yesterday.”

 

“Always.”

 

The cold air suddenly feels frozen inside the card but Gahyeon remains warm. She observes how Yoohyeon says that one word yet she feels her longing just from it. They still love each other, no doubt about that. But there’s that kind of love wherein you have to set it free, for its own good.

 

“She’s always in my dreams, and I think she will always be.”

  
  


**_Flashback: 2021_ **

 

“Our concert will be in Tokyo Dome!!!!!”

 

The girls were gaping with astonishment, their bodies unmoving at the announcement. It was just two years ago (2019) when they would hold Japan concerts in venues with maximum capacity of 600 and now they are performing in Tokyo Dome - definitely something they all deserve after going through such great hardships. It was a dream come true for all of them, but most especially for the MINX members. They were all crying except for Dami, who was busy giving all of them a tight back hug. She was always the ray of sunshine every time the members start crying on-stage or during practices. 

 

“Yaaaa! Don’t cry! You will all get ugly.” 

 

Dami finally reaches Yoohyeon and tiptoes to her ear, “Not you, pretty.”

 

Yoohyeon faces her girlfriend and hugs her as tight as she could, as if Dami is going anywhere else but her arms. They were all bawling and Dami’s eyes now start to well with a bit of tears, too. She remembers the uncertainty during the hiatus and the frustrations of not winning in music shows when Dreamcatcher was still starting out. Those years were very emotional and vulnerable that they all felt like balloons who are about to pop. They would cry in interviews and fan meetings, thanking everyone who support them but truly in their hearts, it’s actually their pain that giving their all still isn’t enough. But now that they’ve finally broken out worldwide, all their dreams have become a reality. A ray of sunshine has emerged through the deep-seeping darkness that all the members have seemed to adopt, feeling negative that they will never get what they want and deserve. This sunshine lift them up and finally got them to the top. 

 

Yoohyeon feels a vibration coming from her pocket and sees that her dad was calling. Dami wipes her tears with her hands and proceeds to push Yoohyeon out of the crying circle so she can answer her dad’s call.

 

Yoohyeon comes back into the room with everyone already calm and Dami walks up to her with a glass of water in her hand.

 

“Drink. Did you tell your dad?”

“Yes.”

“What is he getting you as prize this time?”

“Oh, I’m not sure yet. But maybe a trip to a European country.”

“Ey that’s good!”

“I hope I can bring you, Binch.”

“Schedule aside, why not?!”

 

Yoohyeon hugs Dami with sullen eyes and doesn’t let go for a good minute. Dami reciprocates and hugs her even tighter, even rubbing her small face on her long arm. They love keeping close and staying warm beside each other and they know they can do that because they are in their safe place - the members and the company is a safe place. Everyone is on their phones, probably telling their families of the good news they’ve just received.  They’ve waited for this moment for a good while now and it’s just right to share the good news to everyone in their lives.

 

“Okay, let’s all go home now. I think it’s a good time to stay home and enjoy the remainder of the day while talking to our families. Tomorrow we are going to start getting really busy. Understood?” JiU talks to her members the way a mother talks to her kids when they have upcoming tests. She knows they all need the rest of the day to process that amazing news.

 

They all get up slowly with smiles and tears on their faces and they do a group hug. They were just standing in the middle of the room, quiet, listening to each other’s beating hearts. They were all excited and happy of the announcement but they were also filled with fear and doubt. But mostly they are just thankful that they are having a concert in Tokyo Dome, a venue that indicates the popularity of a group. The hug starts to break up and they all walk towards the door. They see the staff and their manager waiting for them outside with warm smiles on their faces.

 

“Congratulations, girls. You’ve definitely made it.”

 

They all hug their manager and they say thank you to each and every staff inside the room. They knew they wouldn’t have done it without them and the fans; there are too little words to describe how thankful they are. They then proceed the building’s parking area, each of the members holding a car key except for Siyeon and Dami. They all ride their cars - Gahyeon, JiU, and Handong driving alone, while SuA and Siyeon and Dami and Yoohyeon share cars and go their separate ways to their own houses. It’s been a year since they had to purchase these properties as per their contract (they had to leave the dorms and live on their own 3 years after Dreamcatcher’s debut) and Dami and Yoohyeon already knew what they were going to do. They’ve promised each other years ago that when they both start to finally earn a lot of money, they will live together - and that they did. The two live in a posh neighborhood in Incheon, in a house befitting a couple who has just started living together. Yoohyeon finally turns off the engine as they arrive in their beautiful home and lets off a deep and long sigh.

 

“Scared? Anxious?” Dami asks without batting an eyelash. She knows every inch of Yoohyeon.

“Spot on.”

 

Dami faces the anxious girl whose beauty is illuminated under the moon’s light and she marvels at her side profile. She picks up her hands and makes her cup her face, her warm soft cheeks making contact with Yoohyeon’s palms in a way making her feel reassured.

 

“Don’t worry. We’ll be good. Always.”

“I know you will be, Binch.”

“And you, too. All of us. We didn’t get this far if we weren’t all good.”

 

And Dami is right. They all have their own personalities and skills but they are all marvelously multi-talented. But the main rapper has been soaring with her rap technique developing tremendously, improving her singing, and maintaining her A+ dancing skills. She is an overall package, something she has been very proud of. 

 

"Bub, just breathe. Okay? Everything will be fine."

 

She kisses Yoohyeon's right hand and gives her the warmest smile she could afford.

 

"With you and the members by my side, I know it will be."

 

They step out of their car and Yoohyeon waits for Dami to reach her at the other side. They put their arms around each other’s waists and they walk towards the elevator leading to their flat. The shorter girl notices her partner’s long face but keeps mum about it. She doesn’t poke Yoohyeon, she doesn’t prod, she doesn’t say a word. Some things are better left in her mind because she doesn’t want to invade her privacy that much. Besides, she already knows what she’s thinking with just the creases on her face. They know each other so well that simple movements and reactions already tell a whole sentence. 

 

What Dami doesn’t know is that she is hiding something huge from her, probably a huge deal-breaker for their relationship. Yoohyeon quickly picks up an envelope on their doorstep and Dami is puzzled with her partner’s hasty actions. It’s not something new, but there’s a certain kind of worry in her eyes that has got Dami worried.

 

“Whose are those from?” Dami asks Yoohyeon who suddenly rushed to their room, probably to leave the envelope.

“Oh, nothing. Just -- from my parents.”

 

Dami decides to just shrug it off because maybe it’s a family matter that she shouldn’t meddle with, but she thought she should check in a bit.

 

“Is everything okay, bub?”

“Yes, it’s just for dad’s work.” Yoohyeon screams from across the house, now removing her make-up in the bathroom.

“Okay! I’ll heat up the food that SuA unnie gave us, okay? It will be our dinner.”

“Thank you!”

 

Just like a married couple, they take turns taking care of each other, preparing the food, bringing out drinks, and sharing the load in washing the dishes and wiping them dry. They complement each other in more ways they’d thought they would and nothing has been more perfect since.

 

They wash up together releasing all their stresses and anxieties from the day that has been. The taller girl pulls the tomboy closer to her naked flesh, smothering themselves with warm water from under the shower. She puts her head down on Dami’s perfectly-angled shoulder and starts giving her kisses on her milk-like skin. She smooches from the tip of her shoulder slowly moving towards her neck, licking her skin in between. Dami lets off a soft whimper as she hugs her tighter, their bare breasts touching one another. They continued kissing each other’s bodies and touching all the spots until they both reach their peak. They stay under the shower after the passionate exchanges and stay under the shower as if time is on their side. Yoohyeon knows it isn’t so she makes sure to treasure the remaining months with Dami. Her family is leaving on December and it’s already February. She still has time to throw Dami a beautiful birthday party before she leaves - one that she will never forget.

 

Weeks leading to Dami’s birthday have probably been the busiest for Yoohyeon’s family. They’re getting ready all the documents and properties that they need and wouldn’t need for this move and for Yoohyeon, there’s a certain pain in her heart that she hasn’t and couldn’t tell anyone in the group - not even the person she spends every waking day with. She just can’t do it, not when her current domestic set-up with Dami has been nothing but perfect and not when everything has finally gone well for the group. She knows it will only be a matter of time until she has to come clean to her members since the company already knows, but Yoohyeon is the type of person who thinks about things twice, thrice, and even a hundred times if needed especially when someone is going to get hurt and in this case - a lot of people. She is conflicted and is out of her wits but she still does her best to host a birthday party for Dami. She was seeking help from SuA and JiU while Siyeon, Handong, and Gahyeon were all accomplices, accompanying Dami in choosing her newest keyboard. She is very meticulous when it comes to her musical instruments so it took them about 2 hours before she purchased the perfect one. Gahyeon gifted it to her while Handong handed her a pair of Shure Wireless Sound Isolating headphones - her favorite brand. Her face lights up like a firecracker in the air and she gives both of them a huge, tight hug with endless thank you ringing through their ears. Siyeon, acting with utmost potential, investigates a couple of things that Yoohyeon and SuA asked to be extract from Dami.

 

“Ya! Yoobin-ah! What are your plans with Yoohyeon later?” Siyeon asks while putting her arm around Dami’s shoulder. She was actually calling SuA from her phone and putting it right between them so they could listen to Dami.

“Oh I don’t have anything planned… But actually, I promised her before that once we become successful, we’ll travel to New Zealand. And I’ve just bought the tickets.”

“OH MY GOD! REALLY!” The three were in awe because they know Dami isn’t the type to spend a lot on trips although they know that she’d do anything to make Yoohyeon happy.

“Yeah, well. I want to be on a trip with just her.”

The party on the other line dropped the call immediately after and Siyeon got confused. Maybe Yoohyeon let go of the phone? Maybe it fell on the floor? Maybe Yoohyeon fell to the floor? She just decided to put back her phone into her pocket since her job is done.

“Unnie, please take a lot of pictures! I want to go there too!”

“Well, you can. Just tell your millionaire boyfriend.” Dami snorts at Handong’s clapback and Gahyeon blushes because it’s true.

 

The four manage to get a table in a cafe not long before they got mobbed. They realized that freedom is one of the things they had to let go when they got big. They now cannot go anywhere without getting noticed. They decided to settle in Handong’s heavily tinted car and drink their coffee there.

 

“So what do you guys plan to do once our contract expires? I mean I’d love to still continue with Dreamcatcher but I’ll be old then and I wouldn’t want to be dancing that hard anymore.” Siyeon poses a stellar question to everyone.

Dami, as always, already has the future mapped out and confidently answers, “I just want to produce music. I will probably be still with the company.”

“I want to have a family, unnie.”

“Okay first, I need to go back to China then find a boyfriend there. But I want to stay here so I can always visit you guys.”

“It’s impressive you all have your futures mapped out. As for me, I just want to continue doing music in whatever way. And of course stay with Bora the rest of my life.”

 

They tease Siyeon about how she is still head over heels for the unnie and she doesn’t disagree because it is all true. They have been together for almost a decade now and SuA still makes her blood rush with just a smile or a touch. And that is love for these two - it’s timeless; it never gets old.  

  
  


Handong parks smoothly in the garage of Yoobin and Yoohyeon’s house and the others clap in the end at how smooth her driving is. Siyeon mumbles something about wishing she could drive like that so SuA can rest but Dami’s head is just too high in the clouds for her to recognize all the words that pass by her ears. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy because every facet of her life right now is flourishing. She felt she needed to be cheesy for once and tell them how she really feels because it’s her birthday anyway.

 

“This has been the most memorable birthday for me, I think. Because we are finally not living on the brink of worrying if we ever will succeed or what. And thank you. To all of you. Because if it weren’t for all of us, our fans would’ve never believed in us. Thank you. To our dreams and mine that we kept pushing our limit when we thought we couldn’t go on anymore.”

 

A stream of tears has started Gahyeon on Dami’s second sentence. She hasn’t changed a bit; she still cries immediately at the first encounter of memories, hardships, and love from fans. And this message is coming from the reticent unnie, the one who lets other speak first before she does, the one who lets the other take the spotlight and decides to stay in the sidelines. She has never heard Dami speak with these much emotions and she couldn’t handle her tears. Siyeon starts sobbing, too, and the two who aren’t quick to tears started consoling them. Knocks start coming from the windshield which startled all of them, emotions still on a high.

 

“Why are you having a crying party?” A beautiful Yoohyeon, dressed in a very comfortable hoodie and denim shorts with light make-up and noticeable cheek tint, mouths through the car’s glass. The four hop off and Dami hugs Yoohyeon real tight.

 

“Sorry, I made them cry. I just told them that this birthday has been my most memorable yet because we’re all in a good place.” Yoohyeon grabs her girlfriend’s hand as they lead the way to the elevator while the others were wiping their tears, just mindlessly following the couple.

 

Yoohyeon kisses Dami's forehead and looks at her big, beautiful brown eyes that sparkle with happiness. Her heart breaks a little knowing that these eyes won't be looking at hers every morning and every night in a matter of months. She is in pain and her eyes shimmer with a bit of tears. She holds Dami's small face with her two hands and whispers to her ear, "I love you. Happy birthday."

 

Yoohyeon opens their door and it creaks noisily as the room inside stays dark. Yoohyeon extends her hand and Dami follows her through inside the house. It was pitch black, her eyes blinded by the blackness of the room and not even the night light lets her see through the shadows of who or what might is in the room. Yoohyeon starts counting and she sees candles on a cake being brought towards her by a seemingly grown man. Dami starts to see through the face of the man carrying the cake with candles and she squints her eyes to take a better look. Uncharacteristically, Dami puts her big hands over her face and covers it as a river of tears start flowing through her cheeks. She was a mess. She kneels down, sits with her feet to her bottom, and hangs her head down low as she starts sobbing loudly. All the members were worried because they have  **_never_ ** seen her break down like this. She doesn't even cry nor shed a tear with them. They've always thought of her as someone with emotions of steel but apparently, she isn't. She gets soft and emotional too just like them, she just hides it really well so she can take care of them as they cry their tears out. Her hands are crossed on her chest and she is still sobbing quite loudly. Her dad gives the cake to Yoohyeon and smiles at her, as if telling her that he's very thankful to be invited to her daughter's birthday party after almost 11 months of not talking. Dami came out to him on a warm spring day when they went out on one of their "Appa Dates" and he didn't take it lightly. The car was filled with terrifying silence as they eat their fried chicken together. They used to talk about books, their family, and Dami's plans but as soon as she dropped the bomb her dad became dead silent as if cat got his tongue. Dami dreaded that reaction but wasn't surprised at all. She just felt extremely sad that someone as close to her doesn’t understand her feelings and preference. She thought that he'll accept her for what she is because he loves her; he is the best person in the family to first know about her.

 

Her dad kneels down to pick up the pieces that Dami has broken herself into and he hugs her tight and keeps her close to his heart. She throws her arms around him and they just stand still in the middle of the room with tears loosening from their eyes. The other members started crying as well but JiU decides to lift the spirit up.

 

"Hey! Enough of the crying! Dami, blow your candles first!"

 

The girls start singing to her and Yoohyeon brings the cake closer to the birthday girl. Dami looks at Yoohyeon with her eyes wallowing in happy tears and mouth the words, "Thank you," as the others finish up the song. She takes a deep jagged breath, closes her eyes for a while, and blows all the candles. They all clap but Dami goes back to hugging her dad as he reciprocates her favorite girl's warm hug. SuA turns on the lights and motions for everyone to follow her to the kitchen so they can help her prepare food and drinks, as well as for the father and daughter to have their own alone time.

 

They fix themselves in the corner of the room, sitting on the small comfortable velvet sofa. The view of the dark night sky is perfect from that corner, casting light on their faces from the stars that glisten above. It was a beautiful night. A perfect one even, now that she is with her dad.

 

"Who told you to be here, dad?"

"That beautiful tall lady," pointing to Yoohyeon.

"So…You're okay? With me? With us?" Dami is still trembling, still scared that she will feel rejected by her own father, still unsure of his feelings for her.

"Yoobin, not talking to you for 11 months was painful. I sometimes lie to your mom that we met just so I could get off the hook."

"So… mom knows?"

"No. It's your story to tell. As far as I'm concerned, I love you and you are my baby forever, however old you may get or however you identify as."

Dami looks at her shaking palms and clasps them together. Her dad reaches for them and holds them tightly with his big hand. She looks up to him with puffy eyes yet happy smile, with hands now stable and clasped with her dad’s.

"Dad, thank you. Thank you so much. You don't know how happy I am."

"Sorry for acting that way the first time you came out to me, I was in shock and I needed to cope. I read a lot of materials, talked to a lot of people, and one of them is Yoohyeon."

"Wh- what?! What did you two talk about?"

"Oh that's our secret. You just enjoy you two, okay? Don't think about the others. Go on beautiful dates, hold her hands outside, hug her from behind, kiss her hand, her forehead... You're idols, not robots whose actions are calculated. Plus you know how nice the company is. They’re unlike others.”

“Y-yes, dad. Yes.”

“You love her, right?”

Dami breathes deeply as if trying to extricate a huge lump in her throat. She opens her mouth with courage in her tongue and boldness in her lips and answers her dad, “More than my life.”

“Then it’s all good. I give you my blessing and take care of each other. You can always talk to me for anything.”

“I know, Dad. I love you.”

“Love you too. Okay, so, I need to go now because I don’t want your mom staying up late for me and she doesn’t know that I’m here.”

“Really? You won’t even have a bite?”

“No, no. There will be dinner when I get home and your mom will get upset if I don’t eat. You know her.”

Dami nods and hugs her Dad so tight that he feels like he’s gonna pop like a balloon.

“Dad, thank you, really.”

“It shouldn’t have been a problem in the first place. I’m sorry.”

 

JiU witnesses that Dami’s father has risen from where they were seated and signaled Yoohyeon to look at them. She puts down the plate and chopsticks and rushes to them quietly. Dami sees her approaching lightly and calls on her.

 

"Yoohyeon-ah! My dad has to go now."

"Right now? But we haven't had dinner yet, sir--"

"Call me uncle." Yoohyeon and Yoobin both blush, positively flustered because both their parents said the same thing. It's a testament as to how both sides are very much accepting and loving of each other.

"Okay, uncle. We prepared steak. Aren't you staying longer?"

"That's okay. Enjoy it among yourselves. I need to go back home and eat there. That's one rule between me and my wife. Always eat at home."

"To be honest, uncle, your daughter is like that, too. She makes sure I have dinner food when we have different schedules, wherever she is."

"I guess she takes care of you how her mom takes care of all of us. I'd say she's a keeper."

"You two are embarrassing me. Please."

"Eh. Anyway. Just always respect each other. Okay? And never hide things from her. She hates that. But I'm sure you know that already."

"Y-yes, uncle. I do."

The two escort Dami's father back to his car with hugs given to each of them. They are both filled with overflowing joy as they walk back to their house yet Yoohyeon's heart is still in an unsteady pace, filled with anxiety and sadness. She's cursing through her teeth about how bad the timing is for this move out of the country but she contains her complaints and whinings to herself. 

 

Before they reach the main door, Dami stops walking and holds Yoohyeon's arms in a way that she is standing right in front of her. Dami is ecstatic and she knows this is the perfect timing but a part of Yoohyeon is scared because she knows Dami's plan. She knows she's going to ask her to travel with her as she promised and she knows she'll  _ eventually _ have to turn that down.

 

"Yoohyeon-ah, before we go in, I just want to let you know that this has been the most memorable birthday I have ever had."

"Really? That was my aim for this party, actually. I'm glad you liked it."

"I'm glad my dad likes you. But really, who wouldn't?"

They exchange the sweetest glances as Dami reaches to her back pocket and takes out her phone, unlocking it and showing the PDF file of the plane ticket.

"Bub, let's travel together. Just you and me. When all of the tours and promotions are over. As promised."

Yoohyeon pretends to be shocked by covering her mouth with her hands and widening her eyes and surprisingly, her acting is good enough that Dami smiles up to her ears because she was able to surprise her girlfriend on her birthday.

“It’s your birthday and you’re the one giving gifts. Of course I will travel with you.”

They kiss under the moonlit corridor with the bright night shining through Dami’s face and lips. Yoohyeon feels guilt with every touch and smooch Dami gives her and it’s showing with the way she reciprocates her slight intimacy. Dami pulls back and examines her partner’s face, still with a smile painted on her lips.

“Hey, you okay?”

Yoohyeon bites her lower lip and pulls Dami closer to her while playing with her freshly-trimmed hair. She then makes distance between her and the birthday girl by holding her shoulders and very gently pushing her away, and looks through her eyes.

“We have our own house, our families are approved of us, and you are in my life, of course I am more than okay,” she says with tears in her eyes. She wants to scream and cry and just tell her that she is about to leave in a couple of months - that they will no longer be waking up next to each other’s faces in the morning and sleeping with cuddles in their arms at night. They won’t be able to kiss each other on the cheeks, the lips, the neck… and they won’t be able to touch and feel each other as passionately as they would. They’re gonna lose all physical connections being from the other side of the world and it’s  _ fucking  _ painful just to think about it. Yoohyeon decides if she should tell her now - now that her lips are pressed against hers again - but she shrugs off the idea and thinks about just downing all the alcohol that the members brought for the party. “I’ll do that tomorrow, after this beautiful night,” she tells herself as she indulges in Dami’s lips, taking the birthday girl’s breath away. “Thank you, Yoohyeon. For everything.” Dami manages to escape with air and get muffled words out from her passionate lip-locking with Yoohyeon. They give each other one final peck before opening their door.

 

Their spacious house suddenly feels cramped filled with music flowing through the walls, stuffed with conversations exchanging through lips, and loaded with warm bodies downing alcohol. The members are dancing while eating and drinking alcohol. It was a light, fun evening that they haven’t had in a while. It was just like the hard old days, those difficult times during the Latin America Tour when their fans can only be settled in one room. They all drink to their hearts’ contents except Yoobin. She had a drink or two and a lot more food. She always takes care of everyone and that already is an unwritten rule whenever they party. A dozen of glasses later, Yoohyeon is a mess who walks on the ground in fours and barks like a dog. She’s really on brand and the fans would’ve loved seeing her like this. She was laughing at whoever is in front her and her hazy eyesight doesn’t help her get up when she wanted to. Gahyeon points to Yoohyeon as she and Dami are talking and the girlfriend rushes to pick her up.

 

“Of course, she goes over her limit. I’ll take care of her. Please keep drinking and have fun.”

 

Yoohyeon groans and Dami shakes her head, still smiling at how cute she is with those red-flushed cheeks from alcohol. She looked beautiful intoxicated, she won’t deny that. There’s this certain air of sexiness she can’t understand that emanates from her smelling like malt beer and she wanted to kiss her right then and there. She had to control herself so she had a whiff of her neck, and it still sends her to a frenzy after all these years. They reach the top of the staircase with much effort from Dami and Yoohyeon was laughing the whole time she was carrying her. They finally reach their bedroom where Dami gently lays Yoohyeon down and removes her shoes.

 

“Yoohyeon, are you alive?”

Yoohyeon snorts, “Of course, silly,” with her inebriated voice.

“Okay. I was just gonna say that I remember this scene when we had our first kiss. Remember that?”

“Ah, yes!” Dami sits beside her as she finished removing her shoes and socks. The drunk girl wraps her arms around Dami’s waist as she lies down and whines.

“Please lie beside me.”

Dami obliges and removes her shoes as well. She lies down beside her beautiful partner and traces the line on the side of her face with her pointer finger from her temple to her chin. She is mesmerized by her beauty, the face that has her wrapped around her fingers for years.

 

Yoohyeon is intoxicated but her consciousness was awake when Dami was tracing the outline of her face. She knows she was getting drunk because she didn’t want to face the reality that she has something to tell Dami. She just stays still pretending to be asleep and enjoys the feeling of Dami’s warm fingers running through her face - that touch that she will most definitely miss. 

 

“I should get you a change of clothes,”

“Ha, you said that before, too. I remember. Our first kiss. You were such a baby lesbian.”

“Excuse me. That’s because I’m consistently clean. You think our place would be this neat if I don’t clean it? And yes, a baby lesbian, okay.”

Yoohyeon groans because she knows she’s right. She’s messy and disorganized, and Dami is the only thing that kept her together all these years. 

 

Yoohyeon feels the bed spring up as Dami rises from her side. She opens the closet door and goes through the rows slowly, one by one. She finds a familiar brown envelope tucked between a pile of clothes and the closet wall and decides to open it slowly, carefully as if it the envelope will alarm when you touch the wrong places. It easily opens and she looks at the papers inside, wary if she should even read what’s in them. It might be hers or not but for someone who has been together as long as them, that doesn’t really matter. 

 

She sees the following on the headers of the papers:

 

**EMBASSY OF GERMANY**

 

**APPLICATION**

 

**IMMIGRATION**

 

She felt utterly confused and forlorn, emotions flying through and out her head. What are these papers? What does this mean? Is this what she’s been hiding from her? Is she leaving her? Why hasn’t she told her anything? Maybe it’s for the both of them? Or not? She starts feeling betrayed and a nail feels like drilling through her heart while her eyes start to build up tears. She can’t bear the thought that she’ll have to live far from Yoohyeon. On normal days, she can’t even sleep until Yoohyeon is home, and now she has to deal with her living right across the globe?  

  
  


The sun rises with familiar mild heat and light, perfect for one spring day. The short-haired girl kept tossing and turning on the bed and had only 3 hours of sleep after she had finished cleaning up last night when the members left. She’s still at a loss for words with what she has to bear right now but can’t wait for the beautiful lady beside her to wake up. The light bounces off perfectly from their bedroom window to Yoohyeon’s exposed cheek and Dami’s eyes stay still on her soft visual, unwilling to blink as she might miss a moment in front of her eyes. Her gaze filled with longing even if she hasn’t left yet but also full of disappointment that she hasn’t told her anything. Her eyes well up when Yoohyeon wakes up and opens her small eyes.

 

“Good morning, love.” Dami sniffs as Yoohyeon greets her and she wipes her own tears using her pointer fingers. She panics because she didn’t want to start their day with emotions but her own tears can’t help themselves from filling her eyes.

“Good morning, Yoohyeon. I think we need to talk.”

“Oh bub, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” Yoohyeon tries to hug her but Dami politely raises her arms and dodges the taller girl’s advances.

“No, no. Don’t. I saw the envelope in the closet.”

Yoohyeon froze in shock because she knew what it was. Her nightmare has happened. However she thinks that they are right on schedule as she did decide to tell her about it today but obviously it didn't happen the way she planned it. She felt guilty that she hid it from her all this time and she can’t stand the sight of the love of her life crying and drowning with tears.

“Yoohyeon, you could’ve told me when all this planning started. Did you think I will never find out?” Dami's voice is breaking, her tears falling nonstop.

“I was going to tell you today.”

“And?”

“Look, you think this was easy for me? For my family to decide?”

“I didn’t say it was. But why did you not just tell me?”

“I just… I couldn’t. I was in denial that we’ll have to be apart. I didn’t want to be walking around thinking our time in this house will be limited. I wanted to escape that thought.”

“That’s selfish. Did you ever put your feet in my shoes?”

“...”

“...”

“I’m sorry.”

“Was that why you were studying German this whole time?”

“No!”

“You literally could have just told me, though. I really don’t understand!"

Yoohyeon starts sobbing, full of regret and disappointment in herself. Dami was right. She was struggling on how to forget the fact that she has to leave her home country to live in another continent permanently that she has forgotten to focus on the people she is surrounded with and how they would feel when she finally leaves. She did fuck up and she drowns herself in tears at this early time of the day.

  
  


Months have passed and Yoohyeon and Dami have grown slightly apart. They still live in the same place and sleep on the same bed, but the room feels cold and empty at times even when they make love to each other. The bitter taste that this whole migration left on each other’s lips is worse than expected. Dami still feels betrayed but they’ve done all the talking they could have. Their love isn’t over, they’re just preparing for the imminent future. They say that they’re preparing for it by distancing themselves from each other so they’d learn how to not miss them so much but the members keep telling them that they should enjoy each and every waking moment that they’re still together. Being busy with their individual schedules and preparation for the upcoming Tokyo Dome concert, they’ve been finding excuses not to have dinner outs or make short trips to the library in guised outfits (their favorite thing to do when they got big) or to get Dami’s dog from their home in Seoul and bring it home to them for a couple of days. They haven’t been doing any couple stuff and that’s because they want to learn how to do things individually from now on.

  
  


The day of Yoohyeon’s departure is finally here. Her eyes are swollen from crying all-night with Dami. The night was full of heated copulation as well as heated arguments. They were trying to plan things on how they will be going about this long distance relationship and it’s safe to say that no one is ready for it. They’re looking at surviving the first month and will just move on from there. They know it won’t be easy but they also know that they will be doing their best.

 

Dami had no plans of showing up at the airport and she didn’t tell anyone where she was or who she was with. Yoohyeon’s family had checked in and they have all went through to the immigration while the crying girl is still with the members minus Dami and they were all hugging her while whispering, “It’s okay. You know her. She doesn’t want drama, most especially showing it to other people.”

 

Yoohyeon’s phone alerts a notification that “Lee Yeobo” had sent her a message. She wrote a poem for her and it left her to pieces.

  
  


> _ I don’t want to see you leave _
> 
> _ I don’t want to see you slip away _
> 
> _ I don’t want you to go _
> 
> _ But it’s time for me to embraces the woes _
> 
>  
> 
> _ We’ll see each other soon _
> 
> _ I’ll hold your hand a couple more full moons _
> 
> _ But for now it is goodbye _
> 
> _ Maybe I'll see you on the other side _
> 
>  


	6. Letting Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah guys, it’s finally coming to an end… or is it (referring to nightmare concepts hahahaha)? Hope you enjoy and thank you for being patient with this. :)
> 
> I will miss writing canon soft 2yoo :(
> 
> Find me at twitter.com/crajee4jenyer and let's talk!

“Are you sure of this? You already have a name and everyone respects you as a musician."

"I know."

"There's no turning back, Lee Yoobin. You'll be branded as that."

“But I am queer. There's no reason for me to worry that I'll be branded as such because I am one."

 

She has no more reason to hide and now she is proud of what she is. She used to hide from everyone her true self until she fell in love with Yoohyeon, and that made her fight for that kind of love. Since ending her contract as a Dreamcatcher member in 2024, she spends all of her time in Dreamcatcher Company honing her skills in song composition and music production with themes directed to self-exploration and knowing (or not) what you are. Her songs started to become popular especially in the LGBTQIA+ sector of South Korea and the mentioned sector have made her their favourite artist because of her relatable songs that pierce through all pink hearts in such a close-minded country. It was 2026 and the Seoul Queer Culture Festival (SQCF) sent her a letter in March asking for her participation in the 27th Annual SQCF. She felt different, honoured actually, that she was invited to be part of this event she used to only dream of attending with Yoohyeon; now she gets to take part in it. She dials Siyeon right after reading the invitation.

 

"Hello?"

"Unnie, where are you?"

"I'm at home but heading to the parlor."

"I'm meeting you there. I have news. Let's talk."

"Oooh do you have a new girl?"

"NO. BYE."

"Awww you didn't meet the---" Dami hangs up the phone before she even hears Siyeon lecture her on not meeting other girls after Yoohyeon. She doesn't need that lecture and she doesn't need someone new. She knows that in a million lifetimes, she'll choose Yoohyeon over and over again. She is and always will be the one for her, forever the yin to her yang. Only in this lifetime, after doing everything they could, the best option is to live separately as two half hearts, broken and shattered and only completed by its distinct other half.

 

Dami arrives in the salon and finds Siyeon already on her chair, preparing for her schedule today.

 

"Unnie!"

"Oh you're here! Do you want coffee?"

"I'm good, thank you. I've been up since hours ago."

"I know. You message in our group chat like you're on the fancafe still."

"Old habits die hard. Anyway, listen, unnie. So you know SQCF right?"

"Do I know it? I BREATHE it! Hahahaha, yes I know of it. Why?"

"So they contacted me and invited me to perform or even just be a part of the event…"

"YOU DID NOT?" Siyeon's face lights up like sunshine while slightly turning her head to Dami's direction.

"Unnie, don't turn! Your hair! You can see me on the mirror anyway!"

"But oh my goodness, what's your decision then?!?! We're going if you are!!"

"I'm still thinking about it. But I actually feel like it's the right time. Since it’s my birthday in two days, I think it'll be a good birthday gift for me to say yes to this."

"You're right! You've been trying to fully come out since 7 years ago anyway."

"Ha. Good times. I remember that haircut when I--" and she stops right there because she's having another Yoohyeon slip up. She shakes her head frantically and fixates her eyes on the ceiling before she goes back to looking at Siyeon in the mirror, who she finds was observing her.

"Yeah I know. Just respond to that letter and Bora and I will be there to support you, okay?" Siyeon doesn’t pry because she knows what happened in that split-second of memories with Yoohyeon. She doesn’t ask anything but looks at her carefully as Dami’s gaze descends from the mirror to the floor.

"Yes, I will."

 

**_SQCF: June 2026_ **

 

Dami starts her day by walking (and running) her dog for a good two hours and goes back to her apartment to shower and go to the salon for her appointment. Today is D-Day, they day she has decided she will come out as the first openly-queer ex-idol. She decides she will tell her story as inspiration to everyone who might have suffered or are suffering in her same shoes, and will let the whole world know how proud she is of herself. Making speeches was never her thing even if she writes a lot and having the center of attention is not something she likes, but she is willing to let go all of these unnatural events for her just so she can inspire others (to be true to themselves), just like a true idol.

 

She picks out her outfit as she usually does, her closet doors wide open with sunlight showering through the window directed to her bed. That’s how she wants to wake up in the morning - the sun basking through the room, with natural light right in front of her eyes. Her clothes are so organised, arranged according to color and from casual to formal wear. Dami decides to wear a light pink round neck shirt tucked in a pair of black jeans matched with black leather belt with a silver buckle, a gray pin-stripe coat, and a pair of dark violet mid-cut Dr. Martens boots. She doesn’t wear anything too flashy and sticks to her usual brand of outfit when she goes on business meetings and doesn’t try to grab attention with her outfit. She tucks her phone to her back pocket and quickly but safely drives to the salon for her appointment.

 

As always, she arrives early. She messages in their group chat to inform everyone that she’s already in the salon to have her hair and make-up done. One of the stylists calls her name and makes her sit on the chair. She looks at her from head to toe, with visuals as stunning as ever, and she paints a wide smile across her face as she gets a bit teary eyed.

 

“Oh! Unnie! Why are you crying!”

“Because you have grown so much. You’ve been going to the same salon since you had that long brown straight hair and those long black curls, now I’m going to style your pixie cut while you’re dressed in a suit like that.”

“Well then let’s remove my coat and put make-up on me, like the good old days.”

“I’m so proud of you, Yoobin. You are so brave.”

“Thank you. I owe it to myself and to everyone who love me for who and what I am.”

 

The members started arriving one by one and eventually all get finished cleaning up. Gahyeon, Handong, and Minji hitch a ride with Dami while Siyeon and SuA took their own car. With bold hearts and courageous minds, they set out towards the venue of the SQCF.

 

“Unnie, where’s your girlfriend?” Handong asks JiU who’s constantly glued to her phone picking up and making calls.

“Oh she’s the one in-charge of the shop today since we’re doing this. And she’s more than thrilled for all of us.”

“Just let her come over to the dinner after, okay? It’s on me.” Dami says confidently as she turns the steering wheel to the street where the event is happening.

 

They have finally arrived at the venue and Dami hops off the car and feels a bit jumpy. She shakes her arms and feels her heart by her hand and breathes deeply. She inhales the energy of the crowd currently cheering and dancing and just generally having fun and exhales any nerves she might be having. She stands at the back of everyone and takes her time in making the next step to start walking again, when SuA and JiU both come up behind her. She is between the two unnies and she’s suddenly confused. The two start to hug her and the others follow through.

 

“You got this, Yoobin!! You know you’re our model when performing onstage. Now show everyone why you are someone to be looked up to.”

 

The members disappear into the crowd as Dami walks up to the backstage and she suddenly feels the rush of blood through her body. She is asked to sit down as the organiser greets her full of respect and explains to her the order of events.

 

Dami stands up as she she hears the introduction for her has started and she fans her face with her hand. She breathes in and makes random sounds as she shakes her head as if she’s shaking off tension.

 

“Let us all welcome - LEE YOOBIN!!!”

 

She takes one deep breath and goes up the stairs leading to the stage carefully while exhaling all the pressure away. Roars of scream and thunderous claps welcome her as soon as she steps on the stage with her boots and coat, in true lesbian power fashion. She realizes she missed being on stage and how it could empower her in a way no other thing could. She gathers all her energy and absorbs the spirit given to her by the crowd. She bows to the person who introduced her and gets the mic as the screams and applause grow bigger and louder. She raises both arms and bows to all areas of the stage as if she was having her solo concert. She settles and goes back to the middle and starts addressing everyone.

 

 

> _Good morning! I hope you’re all enjoying today’s festivities!!!_

 

The crowd’s booming cries go wild and as they chant “Lee Yoobin! Lee Yoobin!”

 

 

> _I was invited today to perform but unfortunately, I can’t do my rapping or dancing or singing without my members so I can just tell everyone a story?_

 

Everyone screams yes and Dami takes a deep breath. “This is it,” she tells herself.

 

 

> _I’m sure everyone has been wondering, especially to the InSomnias who have been there with us from the very beginning. I’m sure you’re all guessing why I suddenly cut my hair short in 2019, what was the meaning, why I ditched all dresses and just wore pants and button downs and coats from then onwards. It was because I was finding myself. I finally found who I am and what I am and wanted to express it to everyone. I knew who I was and there was nothing sweeter than having friends and members who understand and accept me fully for what I am during those times._

 

 

> _Yes, I am queer. And I am proud to be one._
> 
>  
> 
> _I did all those changes in wardrobe and hairstyle not because I wanted to stand out, but because that’s who I am._
> 
>  
> 
> _In a hyper-stressful and non-forgiving industry, I was fortunate to have Dreamcatcher Company as my agency. I had my freedom to choose my outfits and hairstyle as I wish and they never hindered me from showing who I truly am. Thank you to my company and our staff._
> 
>  
> 
> _Being what I am has brought me great happiness and great pain. It taught me how to love and it also taught me how to mend my broken heart. I have been in love with the same woman for 12 years and I could say that if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have evolved to be the person that I am today. So wherever you are and if you are watching this, but I’m sure you aren’t, you have to know that you are the reason why I am here today. That I am able to stand in front of this community with confidence when I couldn’t even come out to my parents around a decade ago._
> 
>  
> 
> _I came out to my father and we didn’t talk for 10 months and with my mother, she had me blocked in all forms of communication and interaction for three years. We just started talking last year when I gave my parents a gift for their wedding anniversary. No, actually, we started crying first, and then we talked. It was very painful not being able to talk to my parents the way we used to because they do not approve of my sexuality. I remember those times when I’m alone in my apartment, I would try to think about how my family is doing because I can’t do anything to contact them. My mom blocked me and basically declared me blacklisted from the house during those times. Tears would fall down my face as I check my phone because it was her birthday and I couldn’t do anything to make her feel special, to make her feel how much I love her despite how she dislike me for what I am. She wouldn’t even receive my gifts, she would throw them straight into the waste bin and that really did give me great pains._
> 
>  
> 
> _And then I touched her heart and all that became distant history. I realize that not everyone is and would be as lucky as me whose parents would eventually accept for what you are. We are all struggling here, surely not all the same situations, but what matters is that we are all trying to overcome it. You have to let yourself feel that wound in your heart because experiencing pain is the only way to overcome it. Cry if you must, cry some more, and then sleep. Pray for your family and always wish the best for them. Cry again and then sleep some more. When you wake up, you will eventually start accepting things for what they are and then one day everything will happen as they should. Trust yourself. Trust the universe. Don’t give up hoping that things will fall into place and when they do, think back to your painful past and realize how far you’ve come, how much stronger you’ve become. And that’s how you become a better person despite all the darkness you were in._
> 
>  
> 
> _Lastly, to the members of Dreamcatcher. What great deal of my life was entrusted to them, especially to the unnies during the MINX era, that they witnessed my growth as a person. They were always supportive and helpful whenever I struggle in different things and they are always there whenever I need them. I send one message and all five come over easily, no matter where they are. It’s a different feeling having five sisters and I am very lucky to have them. Their eyes are the windows to my agonies and I couldn’t ask for anyone better to witness those moments than them. They are not just my workmates, they are my family, they are my support system. Without them and their efforts, there’s no Dami nor Lee Yoobin._
> 
>  
> 
> _Thank you for inviting me here again. For my parting words, I would like to tell everyone that in life, there are no answers, only questions. So do what makes you happy, and just do what you want. Happy pride!!! Love is love is love!_

 

SuA, Siyeon, Handong, Dami, and Gahyeon are gathered in a private room in a restaurant as they wait for Minji and her girlfriend to arrive. They have started with appetizers and a bit of wine to cap off their wonderfully busy day. The fans recognize them among the crowd and it was an extremely good feeling for them to still be loved by a lot of people despite having solo careers and going back to their own personal lives. They stay quiet with smiles filling up the room and pride casting over the air. SuA drinks her wine and looks at Dami who is looking at the menu, probably thinking what she should order for the group. She has to find something very filling because she is feeding her Minji unnie and something not too spicy because her Siyeon unnie can’t eat spicy food that well. SuA knows her too damn well and tells her, “Yoobin, just order what you like. Don’t think about us. This is for you.” She just nods as SuA’s words go through her left and then to her right ear, not minding what she said. She knows this dinner is for her, so she wants the best for everyone.

 

JiU and her partner both arrive in color-coordinated outfits. She greets everyone in the room and Bora gives her the biggest hug. “I missed you! We never hang out anymore!” Siyeon exclaims to JiU’s partner. She was carrying a small cake made of macarons with a little candle. She gave it to Dami and she hugged her real tight. “Thank you,” Dami says in sign language. And she says, “We are all proud of your courage,” in the same language. She can’t speak but her eyes and warmness have always been loud. That’s actually how JiU fell in love with her. Learning sign language to communicate wasn’t a problem anymore since they have been learning it as a group for some time now. When she met this woman during her baking class, they just clicked, and everything is history. JiU never thought it was a problem to date her because as Dreamcatcher tells everyone, they support all kinds of love. And they practice it. Not being able to speak words is never a barrier in expressing how much you love someone.

 

A cake arrives from the staff to the room, and it is from the owner of the restaurant who is a huge Dreamcatcher fan. Everyone claps and sings as their meals and drinks arrive. They are all happy and thankful that they get to keep this kind of relationship with people important in their lives. They start eating and chatting noisily like the good old days.

 

“Hey Yoobin, Minji unnie and Gahyeon cried during your speech.”

“Oh, really? I couldn’t find you guys.”

“We were all wearing hats and caps of course. And we wouldn’t show you how much we were crying earlier,” Minji says as she slices her steak to give to her partner.

“Yeah, I cried a bit, too. You know your way to words, that’s why.” SuA adds while trying to control her mouth from asking what really happened with her and Yoohyeon because after her speech a while ago, they are more eager than ever to ask what really happened with them.

“Oh yeah by the way, I’m going to Germany on August because my husband is going to Poland and I’m going to oversee operations there for two months.” Gahyeon announces it like it’s some kind of a comeback because of Germany. And Germany is where Yoohyeon is.

“Germany?” Handong clarifies as she eyes Dami carefully.

The dinner host doesn’t stop eating and just drinks her wine normally. She doesn’t get rattled but inside she wants to get on her knees and stare at the floor. She doesn’t focus on what they’re talking about right now, instead asks for another bottle of wine.

 

“Wow, our Yoobin drinks better now.”

“I had to learn, eventually. But it’s just a bit. I’m still a lightweight compared to you all.”

 

It’s uncanny how she has stayed that still and calm while they’re still talking about Yoohyeon. SuA examines Dami carefully and she thinks if it’s the right time to ask her of their story. She nudges Siyeon lightly and asks her, to which Siyeon mouths, “Go ahead.”

 

“Hey, Yoobin, can you pass me the wine, please?”

“Which one do you want? Champagne or--?”

“Your story. We want your story.”

“What?”

“What really happened between you and Yoohyeon? No one ever told us and we deserve to know. We’ve given you more than enough time,”

“I know you have. And thank you.”

 

Dami takes a deep breath as she pours more wine into her glass. She closes it and passes it on to Handong who’s beside her.

 

“Okay, first and foremost. We haven’t had any contact since New Year’s of 2023. But I haven’t stopped loving her ever since.”

“Yeah no shit, sherlock.” SuA adds with sarcasm on her tone.

“Oh, that’s the main reason then why she couldn’t go to my wedding, not because of her citizenship status.”

“Well, no, her citizenship status is legitimate but I guess she’s just thankful that she has travel restriction so she won’t have to fly all the way here and see me. Anyway, you all know that she’s the greatest love of my life and she will stay that way. I can’t look at other girls because rather than going through the whole process of falling in love again, I’d rather stay focused on my work and just keep on producing more songs.”

“Did you even fight for it?” JiU asks while holding her partner’s hand.

“Unnie, I don’t go down without a fight. You know that. We did _everything_.”

“What’s everything?” Siyeon asks, because someone from a healthy 14-year relationship has the right to ask this question.

“I mean I guess you guys with successful relationships wouldn’t know... But that feeling of just… Just letting her go would be good for the both of you.”

“How do you even feel that a breakup is the solution to loneliness?!” Siyeon asks, irritation settling in.

“As I’ve said, I knew you wouldn’t understand. Being in an LDR isn’t that easy. Others think that it’s just all communication and constant talking but it’s definitely something else for the both of us.”

“I feel that, unnie, don’t worry,” says Gahyeon whose husband is always traveling around continents for work.

“We really did try. Remember those New Zealand tickets I got for us? We never even went on that trip because she’s not allowed to leave Germany. And I can’t even leave Korea because of all our schedules.”

Everyone pauses and thinks for a while, as if putting themselves in her shoes.

“And you know… I guess that’s love. It’s knowing when to hold on or when to let go so pain doesn’t keep hitting you right smack in your heart. You love your partner yes, but you also have to love yourself.” She downs half a glass of wine after and proceeds to eating the slab of steak on her plate. She combs through her hair with her hand and she reaches for her wine glass with the other. She drinks again, now slower, and she feels all eyes are on her.

“Don’t be creepy??”

“No, we were just admiring that decision. I guess we really won’t understand because we were never in your situation. But that takes a lot of courage.”

“Well, it hasn’t been easy. Sometimes I tempted to just fly thousands of miles just so I can see a glimpse of her face but then I go back to my senses and think that, ‘So what are you going to do when you leave Germany again? Go back to wallowing here in Korea because she’s not with you again?’ It’s gonna be the same pain so I’d rather not.”

“So where are your songs about her?” JiU’s partner joins in and asks.

“They’re all in my mixtape, I don’t know yet when I’ll release it, but yeah they’re all there. It’s gonna be a collection of songs all for her. Ugh I’m cringing cause it’s so cheesy.”

“But it’s for Yoohyeon, so that’s okay.”  
“Yes. Of course.” Dami confirms Handong’s statement.

 

* * *

 

 

The definition of love varies for each and every person. For some, it brings them happiness and stays with them for a long time. For others, it’s a momentous event in their lives where they learn the best lessons from. There are people who exist in our lives to stay with us but there are those who knock on our doors, let themselves in, and leave us broken, in pieces, never to be put back again.

 

Both Yoohyeon and Dami are still mending their torn hearts, unable to fall for someone new, with their greatest love falling apart right before their eyes. They’re not ready, perhaps not ever, to give their heart to someone else. They are fine with that, they don’t need someone new to show their love to as they can express it through music, with constant wishing and hoping that the other is doing well. Gahyeon is currently working with Yoohyeon while Dami is in her office in the company, endlessly writing songs as if there’s no end to her words. She has not fully moved on and she doesn’t mind, she loves her more than anything and that’s okay. There’s really that love that stays unexpressed towards the person but is conveyed in a different manner, because it is better and more peaceful that way. She stops writing for a while and ponders on the moments Yoohyeon was still around the company, bugging her every time she is practicing her rap and calling her baby while on camera. She misses her and would do anything to have her permanently back, but she channels all these feelings and picks up her pen again. They say the greatest love songs are made from the greatest heartbreaks, so Dami welcomes the tears trying to escape her eyes with open arms. What better way to express her love for Yoohyeon one last time than finally releasing love song, no, love mixtape, for her. She starts arranging and pulling strings so she can start releasing it for distribution. She plans to address the mixtape for InSomnias who she misses a lot as the songs contain loving, longing, and wishing to see you again. This mixtape, she promises herself, would be the first and last about her broken heart.

 

Yoohyeon, on the other hand, is kept busy by all her vocal trainees who is going to have their recital in two weeks. Gahyeon assists her with anything and everything for the event to go successfully as planned. On their off days, they go shopping every free day they get just like the old times. Yoohyeon insisted she stays with her during her visit and she happily obliged, just like when they were in their early 20s. They would talk until dawn catching up on all those years of absence and having video calls with all the members. She finally meets JiU’s partner whose sweetness radiates all over the video call by offering her the pastries that they make in their shop. Yoohyeon’s nose scrunches and she tells JiU, “I’m so happy for you, unnie. Stay happy, okay?” and the unnie gives her a finger heart and they all laugh out loud because wow that was so more than one decade ago. But on days that the two are not together, Yoohyeon plays sad love songs on her guitar and randomly remembers all the nights and mornings she spent with Dami. It still hurts somewhere inside her heart, but she’s decided to start healing after five years of trying to forget her. She doesn’t know yet how, but she knows she’s finally letting go. It was the kind of love that she had hoped for everyone to have - it was beautiful, understanding, perfect, and worth all the tears. She will remain dear to her heart, but she will now let go.

 

They say we only experience our great love once in our lifetime. When you do, grab the opportunity and give it your all - all your patience, wisdom, time, effort, and tears. Because in the end you will realize that once you have given it your all, even if it fails, there’s no better feeling than experiencing how it is to genuinely love and be loved equally as should be. _It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all_.

 

Two hearts that used to beat as one are now two half hearts trying to be whole just by themselves. They were each other’s greatest love and the best chapters in their lives. But they both have to move on; they have to start healing and stop hating themselves for not making the relationship work further. Because love is more than making an effort to stay together, it’s discerning when to give up, when to say it’s over. It is realizing that it’s far beyond what fairy tales tell us; life doesn’t always end in happily ever. Life is a mixture of lemons, apples, pears, and grapes and it's up to you how to find love somewhere in there, make it work, and love until it hurts or until it hurts no more - **that’s love**.


End file.
